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Author Topic: Favorite Eastwood Quotes (Reference Thread)  (Read 52319 times)
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« on: January 13, 2016, 12:09:30 AM »

« Last Edit: January 17, 2016, 03:38:59 PM by Matt » Logged
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« Reply #1 on: January 13, 2016, 12:13:45 AM »


JOE: The Baxters over there. The Rojos there. Me right in the middle.

SILVANITO: Where you do what?

JOE: Crazy bellringer was right. There's money to be made in a place like this.

JOE:  Two bosses.  Very interesting.

JOE:  You seem to be well informed.

JOE: Don Miguel Rojo, I want to talk to you. Don Miguel, I hear you're hiring on men. Well, I might just be available. I gotta tell ya before you hire me. . . I don't work cheap.

JOE: (To Piripero) Get three coffins ready.

MAN: Adios, Amigo.

MAN 2: We don't like to see bad boys like you in town.

MAN 3: Go get your mule. You let him get away from you?

JOE: You see, that's what I want to talk to you about. He's feeling real bad.

MAN 3: Huh?

JOE: My mule. You see, he got all riled up when you men fired those shots at his feet.

MAN 2: Hey, are you making some kind of joke?

JOE: No. See, I understand you men were just playin' around. But the mule, he just doesn't get it. Of course, if you were to all apologize.

(The men laugh. Joe moves the poncho aside, exposing his pistol.)

JOE: I don't think it's nice, you laughin'. See, my mule don't like people laughing. He gets the crazy idea you're laughing at him. Now if you apologize, like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it . . .

(Pause as music builds, men draw their guns. Joe draws his and fires five shots, then holsters his gun.)

JOHN BAXTER: I saw the whole thing. You killed all four of them. You'll pay all right. You'll be strung up.

JOE: (Draws gun again) Who are you?

JOHN BAXTER: I'm John Baxter, sheriff.

JOE: Yeah, well, if you're the sheriff, you'd better get those men underground. (Lowers poncho and walks off, passing Piripero.) My mistake. Four coffins.

JOE: You'll have to mark this up.

ESTEBAN: What are you doing?

JOE: Moving

ESTEBAN: But did you know all our men live here with us?

JOE: That's all very cozy but I don't find you men all that appealin'.

RAMÓN: Life can be so precious. It's foolish to risk losing it every minute. No, there's plenty of space for everybody in this town. Even Baxters, hmmm? For this reason, I've decided to hang my gun up on the wall.

DON MIGUEL: I think that Ramón has the right idea. I, too, am getting tired of these killings. They must stop.

JOE: This is all very, very touching.

RAMÓN: You mean you don't admire peace?

JOE: It's not real easy to like something you know nothing about.

RAMÓN: Stay in San Miguel and you may just profit from the experience.

JOE: No thanks. I'll be movin' on.

JOE: (Taking gun from John Baxter) Sorry, but when a husband finds a man in his wife's bedroom, you're never sure how he's gonna react.

CONSEULA BAXTER: Very soon, you are going to be rich. (Hands Joe a fistful of dollars)

JOE: Uh huh. (Takes the money) Yeah, and that's not gonna break my heart.

RAMÓN: You are well informed.

JOE:  A man's life in these parts often depend on a mere scrap of information, your brother's own words.

RAMÓN: Tell me why you're doing this for us.

JOE:  $500 dollars.  (holds out hand for money)

MARISOL: Why do you do this for us?

JOE: Why? Because I knew someone like you once. There was no one there to help. Now get movin'.

JOE: Heard you wanted to see me.

RAMÓN: The Americano's dead.

JOE: Let the old man down.

(Ramón shoots, Joe falls down, and gets back up.)

JOE: What's wrong Ramón? You losing your touch?

(Ramón shoots again. Joe falters, but remains standing.)

JOE: You afraid, Ramón? "You shoot to kill, you better hit the heart." Your own words, Ramón.

(Ramón shoots Joe twice, Joe goes down, and then gets back up.)

JOE: The heart, Ramón. Don't forget the heart. Aim for the heart or you'll never stop me.

(Ramón shoots Joe three more times. Joe gets up again. Joe then moves the poncho aside, showing a metal plate that he wore over his chest. He drops it to the ground. The two watch each other, then Ramón goes to shoot again, but Joe outdraws him and shoots the rifle out of Ramón's hand and kills all his men.)

JOE: When a man with a 45 meets a man with a rifle... you said the man with the pistol's a dead man. Let's see if that's true.

JOE:  Well, guess your government will be glad to see that gold back.

SILVANITO:  And you, you don't want to be here when they get it, eh?

JOE:  You mean the Mexican government on one side, and maybe the Americans on the other side, and me right smack in the middle? Uh uh, too dangerous. So long.


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« Reply #2 on: January 13, 2016, 12:28:19 AM »


RED "BABY" CAVANAUGH: Didn't hear what the bet was.

MANCO: Your life.

SHERIFF: Two thousand dollars, it's a lot of money. Takes me three years to earn it.

MANCO: Tell me, isn't a sheriff supposed to be courageous, loyal, and above all, honest?

SHERIFF: Yeah, that he is.

MANCO (Takes badge off sheriff, looks at it, walks outside, sees two men) I think you people need a new sheriff. (Throws badge to the ground)

MANCO: Now listen, old man. You're supposed to be a prophet. I didn't come here to listen to you rattle on about trains. I want to find out about this man, it's obvious you don't know anything.

PROPHET: No need to be insulting. If that's all you came here to do, you can clear out of my house fast before I go and lose my temper, understand? (Manco gets up to leave) Hey! Where you going, hmmm?

MANCO: I guess I better leave before you go and lose your temper.

MANCO: (Looking at Mortimer's gun) How can somebody in my business go around with a contraption like this?

MORTIMER: That contraption... almost sent you to your grave.

MANCO: You're forgetting one thing, Colonel. I was shooting at your hat.

MORTIMER: Well, I was only shooting at yours.

MANCO: But I recall firing first.

MORTIMER: Boy, I've reached almost fifty years of age with my system. Not many men last long in these parts. How long do you expect to last?

MANCO: Much longer than that. When I get my hands on Indio and that ten thousand dollars, I'm gonna buy myself a little place, possibly retire.

MORTIMER: Well, I don't believe we should start another fight, but you forget one, small detail.

MANCO: What's that?

MORTIMER: I wanna get my hands on Indio too.

MANCO: Sure, after me.

MORTIMER: Or before you. Or at the same time.

MANCO: Is that a proposition?

MORTIMER: Mmm hmm. An equal partnership.

MANCO: Why? Why should I?

MORTIMER: Well I can think of three reasons. First is, there's fourteen of them.

MANCO: Yeah, that's a lot.


MANCO: A lot for me.

MORTIMER: No small number even for two of us.

MANCO: Second reason?

MORTIMER: Second reason? The second reason is you could make it fifteen to one. Don't forget, I wanna play in this game too. As you're aware, when two hunters go after the same prey they usually end up shooting each other in the back, and we don't want to shoot each other in the back.

MANCO: Then the Colonel dies, hmm?

MORTIMER: (Laughs) All right, I'll be generous. You can have the reward for Indio, and I'll take the reward for the rest of the band.

MANCO: (Laughing) No, all wrong. No... Indio's worth ten thousand dollars, but the rest of the band adds up to much more than that. Blackie's worth four, Wild's worth three, Nino two...

MORTIMER: Nino's one.

MANCO: Hmm? (Looks at Mortimer's notebook) Well, Frisco's worth two.

MORTIMER: Well, that's ten thousand.

MANCO: Yeah, but there's a few more that will add up to more than that, I'm sure.

MORTIMER: How do you know that?

MANCO: I have my information, Colonel. Y'know, when all is said and done, I think I might just take you up on your proposition.

MORTIMER: Mmm, let's drink to this partnership. (Pours each of them a drink)

MANCO: (Picks up drink) To the partnership, with no tricks, of course.

MORTIMER: No tricks.

MANCO: (Sits down, puts feet up) Now then, you realize, of course, we're gonna have to figure out some way to get them in the middle.

MORTIMER: Yup. One from the outside, one from the inside. There's no other way. One of us will have to join Indio's band.

MANCO: Why are you looking at me when you say "one of us"?

MORTIMER: Because they don't know you. Wild sees me and his hump will catch on fire.

MANCO: (Laughs) Tell me, Colonel, how do you propose that I join up with Indio? Maybe bring him a bunch of roses?

MORTIMER: Well you could do that, but I'd suggest you take him Sancho Perez.

MANCO: Who's Sancho Perez?

MORTIMER: A friend of Indio's. Right now he's cooling off. He's cooling off in Alamogourdo jail.

MANCO: How do you know all this?

MORTIMER: I've got my information too. Naturally you'll have to arrange for his uh... release.

MANCO: Naturally. Tell me, Colonel, were you ever young?

MORTIMER: Yeah. And just as reckless as you. Then one day, something happened. Made life very precious to me.

MANCO: What's that? Or is the question indiscreet?

MORTIMER: No, the question isn't indiscreet, but the answer could be.

MANCO: Well, if there's gonna be any shooting, I gotta get my rest.

MANCO: Bravo.

MANCO: Now we start.

MANCO: Very careless of you, old man.

MANCO: (Looking at picture in the pocket watch Mortimer is holding that he had taken from Indio) There seems to be a family resemblance. (He gives the watch he had taken from Mortimer back to him) Here.

MORTIMER: (Takes his watch back) Naturally, between brother and sister.

MANCO: My gun?

MORTIMER: (Gives Manco back his gun and belt) My boy, you've become rich!

MANCO: You mean we've become rich, old man.

MORTIMER: No, it's all for you, I think you deserve it.

MANCO: What about our partnership?

MORTIMER: Maybe next time. (Walks off)

MANCO: (Loads Indio's body onto the cart with the rest of the dead gang.) Ten thousand, twelve thousand, fifteen, sixteen, seventeen, twenty-two... Twenty two. (Hears man moving behind him, turns and shoots him.) Twenty-seven.

MORTIMER: Any trouble, boy?

MANCO: No old man. Thought I was having trouble with my adding. It's all right now.

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« Reply #3 on: January 13, 2016, 01:57:56 AM »


TUCO: There are two kinds of people in the world, my friend. Those with a rope around their neck and the people who have the job of doing the cutting. Listen, the neck at the end of the rope is mine! I run the risks. So the next time, I want more than half.

BLONDIE: You may run the risks, my friend, but I do the cutting. If we cut down my percentage... cigar? It might interfere with my aim.

BLONDIE: The way I figure... there's really not too much future with a sawed-off runt like you.

BLONDIE: Such ingratitude after all the times I've saved your life.

TUCO: (Seeing troops approaching) They're gray like us. Let's say hello to them and then get going. (Yelling to the troops) Hurrah! Hurrah for the Confederacy! Hurrah! Down with General Grant! Hurrah for General... (to Blondie) What's his name?


TUCO: (Yelling to the troops again) Lee! God is with us because he hates the Yanks too! Hurrah!

BLONDIE: God is not on our side 'cause he hates idiots also.

BLONDIE: I've never seen so many men wasted so badly.

TUCO: (Reading note left behind by Angel Eyes) "See you soon, id - idi-"

BLONDIE: (Takes the note and reads it) "Idiots". (Hands the note back to Tuco) It's for you.

BLONDIE: You see, in this world, there's two kinds of people, my friend. Those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig.

TUCO: Hey, Pablo! Don't you recognize me? It's me! Tuco! Let me embrace you! I don't know the right thing! I was passing by here, I said to myself "I wonder if my brother remembers his brother!" Did I do wrong? It doesn't matter--I'm very happy!

BROTHER RAMIREZ: You've seen me, Tuco.

TUCO: Yeah, well, I'm very glad I came! Oh, my uniform! It's a long story! Let's talk about you, it's more important. You look very well! Mmmm a bit thin, perhaps, but you were always thin, eh Pablito? What about our parents?

BROTHER RAMIREZ: Only now do you think of them, to begin after nine years.

TUCO: Nine years? So it's been nine years! Nine years!

BROTHER RAMIREZ: Our mother has been dead a long time now. Our father died only a few days ago. That's why I was away. He asked for you to be there, but there was only me.

BROTHER RAMIREZ: And you? Outside of evil, what else have you managed to do? It seems to me you once had a wife someplace.

TUCO: Not one, lots of them! One here, one there, wherever I found them! Go on, preach me a sermon, Pablo.

BROTHER RAMIREZ: What good would that be? Just keep on the way you're going. Go away... and the Lord have mercy on your soul.

TUCO: I'll go! I'll go! While I'm waiting for the Lord to remember me, I, Tuco Ramirez, brother of Brother Ramirez, will tell you something. You think you're better than I am? Where we came from, if one did not want to die of poverty, one became a priest or a bandit. You chose your way, I chose mine. Mine was harder! You talk of our mother and father! You remember when you left to become a priest I stayed behind! I must have been ten, twelve, I don't remember which, but I stayed! I tried, but it was no good! Now I am going to tell you something... you became a priest because you were too much of a coward to do what I do.

BROTHER RAMIREZ: Tuco! Please forgive me, brother.

(Tuco mounts the wagon where Blondie, who had heard everything, is waiting.)

TUCO: Ehhh, my belly's full! Nice guy, my brother! I didn't tell you my brother was in charge here? Everything! Like the Pope almost! He's in charge in Rome. My brother says to me, "Stay brother, don't go home. We never see each other. Here! There's plenty to eat and drink. Bring your friend too!" Whenever we see each other, he never lets me go. It's always the same story. That's so. Even a tramp like me, no matter what happens, I know there's a brother somewhere who will never refuse me a bowl of soup.

BLONDIE: Sure. Well after a meal, there's nothing like a good cigar.

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« Reply #4 on: January 13, 2016, 02:08:22 AM »


COOPER: When you hang a man, you better look at him.

MILLER: You ain't never gonna get me alive to Fort Grant, boy.

COOPER: Then I'll get you there dead.... boy.

COOPER: You know you're a nag? A very pretty one, but a nag.

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« Reply #5 on: January 13, 2016, 02:12:17 AM »


COOGAN: Nobody calls me mister with my boots off.

JULIE: I only handle young, single girls.

COOGAN: Yeah, me too.

TAXI DRIVER: That's $2.95 including the luggage.

COOGAN: Tell me... how many stores are there named "Bloomingdales" in this town?


COOGAN: Well you passed it twice.

TAXI DRIVER: It's still $2.95 including the luggage.

COOGAN: Yeah, well there's $3.00... including the tip.

COOGAN: Put your pants on chief.

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« Reply #6 on: January 13, 2016, 12:17:01 PM »


SCHAFFER: Second rate punk, huh?

SMITH: All I could think of on the spur of the moment.

SCHAFFER: Thanks. That even makes it worse.

SMITH: Lieutenant, in the next fifteen minutes we have to create enough confusion to get out of here alive.

SCHAFFER: Major, right now you've got me about as confused as I ever hope to be.

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« Reply #7 on: January 13, 2016, 12:17:53 PM »


BEN: Didn't you just say that you loved him?

ELIZABETH: Yes, I did. And I do.

PARDNER: But, you just said you were in love with Ben.

ELIZABETH: Yes, I did. And I am.

PARDNER: Ben, do you uh.. you get the feeling you need a drink?

BEN: How did you know?

PARDNER: 'Cause I do too.

BEN: But Pardner, you don't drink.

PARDNER: No, but I'm changing.

BEN: Hmmm, and it takes a woman to do it. Bless their hearts.

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« Reply #8 on: January 13, 2016, 12:21:51 PM »


KELLY: I'm going after that gold, Joe.

BIG JOE: That's what I thought.

KELLY: You want in?

BIG JOE: Do I want in? Now you let me tell you something, soldier, and let me make it nice and clear for you. I got a job to do and that's to get you guys to Berlin without gettin' killed. We've been at the front end of this war all the way. If you whisper one word about the gold to these guys, I'm gonna have you bounced from this outfit so fast your feet won't even touch the ground. Now do you understand that, Kelly?

KELLY: Yeah, I understand. You better fix up some transfer papers for me, 'cause I'm goin' . . . with you or without you.

KELLY: Well, I want 15 Thompsons, two .30 caliber machine guns, two bazookas, two field radios and enough supplies and ammunition to last a platoon of men in the field for three days.

CRAPGAME: (Holding a gold bar given to him by Kelly) How much more where this came from?

KELLY: Fourteen thousand bars.

CRAPGAME: Fourteen thousand bars? (Laughs) Fourteen thousand? Hey, sweetheart, have yourself a bottle of booze, you're beautiful! Fourteen thousand bars! Za-da-ba-pa! That's beautiful! Where is it?

KELLY: In a bank.

CRAPGAME: In a bank? You're getting pretty ambitious, aren't you? I mean, to think you can blow a bank and get away with it?

KELLY: It's behind enemy lines.

CRAPGAME: Behind enemy lines. (Contemplates) Yeah, that could be the perfect crime.

KELLY: Now look, I don't want half the army in on this. I don't want any friends, or any friends of friends. I wanna keep it a tight little unit.

KELLY: Talkin's not gonna do any good, Joe. These men are all going.

BIG JOE: And who's gonna lead 'em?

KELLY: If you don't, I will.

CRAPGAME: You sure you got the time straight with Mulligan?

KELLY: Yeah, I got the time straight with Mulligan, but whether Mulligan can tell time or not's another question.

BIG JOE: You know, with these Tigers, this operation goes above and beyond the call of duty.

KELLY: That's right, Joe, $16 million above and beyond.

CRAPGAME: Hey, hey, Kelly. How did we get talked into this mess?

KELLY: It took about ten seconds to talk you into this.

CRAPGAME: Yeah, sure, but we were supposed to ride, not walk. And nobody said anything about mines or schlepping this .30 caliber machine gun all over the country!

KELLY: Why don't you quit your b*$@hing and just remember what's at the end of the line?

CRAPGAME: Kelly, we're not gonna go with those cowboys, are we?

KELLY: Look, we've got $16 million dollars up for grabs and we're not gonna let those clods beat us to it. Now let's get moving.

KELLY: All right, so it's a beautiful day. Now let's get down to cases.

KELLY: Nobody's asking you to be a hero.

ODDBALL: No? Then you sit up in that turret, baby.

KELLY: No, 'cause you're gonna be up there, baby. And I'll be right outside showing you which way to go.

ODDBALL: There's $16 million dollars worth of gold in that bank, sweetheart.

BIG JOE: That's about 65 million marks.

KELLY: And Sergeant, all you have to do to have an equal share of this money is crank this turret around and blow a hole in that door.

GERMAN SOLDIER: We have my car full. We go now.

KELLY: Yeah, well, you take care of yourself now, huh?

GERMAN SOLDIER: Thank you. (Gives the "Heil Hitler" salute, Kelly just glares at him, then switches to military salute.)

KELLY: (Returning salute) Auf Wiedersehen.

(This is for the best Eastwood quotes, but these Donald Sutherland quotes are too good to pass up.)

ODDBALL: Don't hit me with them negative waves so early in the morning.

ODDBALL: Why don't you knock it off with the negative waves Why don't you dig how beautiful it is out here. Why don't you say something righteous and hopeful for a change?

ODDBALL: Always with the negative waves, Moriarty. Always with the negative waves.

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« Reply #9 on: January 13, 2016, 12:23:47 PM »


HOGAN: Sister, I don't mind shootin' 'em for ya, but I'll be damned if I'm gonna sweat over 'em for ya.

SARA: Then you don't have anything to do for their cause?

HOGAN: Not theirs or anybody else's. You see, I spent two years in a war in the States. Right now, all I'm interested in is money.

SARA: If money is all you care about, then why did you fight in that war?

HOGAN: Everybody's got a right to be a sucker once.

HOGAN: It's nice to hear you laugh, ma'am.

SARA: You think nuns don't laugh?

HOGAN: I don't know, I never spent the night with one before.

HOGAN: Well, they ain't telling you much now, so get dressed.

HOGAN: Lady, if you weren't a nun, I'd let you save your own bacon.

HOGAN: Your mule for that burro? Well, if that kind gentleman traded you even, you won't be meeting up with him in heaven.

HOGAN: I don't know if this arrow's ... (gasp) ... near my heart. I don't think so. Of course, some women say my heart ain't exactly ...(cough)... in the right place.

HOGAN: Are you prayin' for me?

SARA: Yes.

HOGAN: Well, then I must be drunk enough, 'cause damn my eyes, I find that kinda touchin'.

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« Reply #10 on: January 13, 2016, 12:25:25 PM »


HALLIE: Ms. Martha said I should shave you, but I ain't so sure. I don't think the Lord wanted a man's face all smooth like a baby's bottom. That's why he gave them whiskers. Might be a sin to shave that growth off.

McBURNEY: Then don't do it. Sinning oughta be saved for much more important things.

MS. FARNSWORTH: Removing the ligatures will be painful. Do you want some laudanum?

McBURNEY: No thanks, kind lady. I'll fall asleep and then, just by chance you might cut off my... other leg.

CAROL: I'm sorry about what happened. I want you to know that.

McBURNEY: Don't think a thing of it. I've just been thinking about all the advantages that a one legged man has. He saves on socks. Doesn't have to worry about trimming as many toenails. Fewer corns and bunions. I've even been contemplating asking her to cut off the other leg.

MS. FARNSWORTH: A few bottles left in my father's wine cellar. If the pain gets too great, I'll ask Hallie to bring you some.

McBURNEY: Does seem like a good occasion, and I would love some wine.

MS. FARNSWORTH: It was offered for your pain, not for your pleasure!

McBURNEY: Sure ma'am, it's just that sometimes the two do go together.

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« Reply #11 on: January 13, 2016, 12:26:36 PM »


DAVE: You're a real human being.

DAVE: Jay Jay, why don't you go cruise some sailors, huh?

TOBIE: What am I gonna do with you?

DAVE: A lot.

DAVE: It's getting late and you're sounding very monotonous.

DAVE: You know Sergeant, you really make lousy conversation.

McCALLUM: You make lousy coffee.

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« Reply #12 on: January 13, 2016, 12:27:29 PM »


HARRY: (Beginning of film, to bank robber) Ah-ah, I know what you're thinking, "Did he fire six shots or only five?" Well to tell you the truth, in all this excitement I've kind of lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum — the most powerful handgun in the world — and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?

HARRY: (End of film, to Scorpio) Ah-ah, I know what you're thinking, punk. You're thinking, "Did he fire six shots or only five?" And to tell you the truth, I've forgotten myself in all this excitement. But being this is a .44 Magnum - the most powerful handgun in the world and will blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?!

MAYOR: All right, let's have it.

HARRY: Have what?

MAYOR: Your report. What have you been doing?

HARRY: Well for the past three quarters of an hour I've been sitting on my ass in your outer office waiting on you.

MAYOR: I don't want any more trouble like you had last year in the Fillmore district. Understand? That's my policy.

HARRY: Yeah, well when an adult male is chasing a female with intent to commit rape, I shoot the bastard. That's my policy.

MAYOR: Intent? How did you establish that?

HARRY: When a naked man is chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross. (Leaves)

MAYOR: I think he's got a point.

CHICO: There is one question, Inspector Callahan. Why do they call you Dirty Harry?

FRANK DIGIORIO: That's one thing about our Harry, doesn't play any favorites. Harry hates everybody: limeys, micks, hebes, fat dagos, @#*%!&s, honkies, chinks, you name it.

CHICO: How does he feel about Mexicans?


HARRY: Especially spics.

HARRY: Now you know why they call me Dirty Harry. Every dirty job that comes along.

HARRY: Welcome to Homicide.

HARRY: You owe it to yourself to live a little, Harry.

D.A. ROTHKO: Where the hell does it say you've got a right to kick down doors, torture suspects, deny medical attention and legal counsel? Where have you been? Does Escobedo ring a bell? Miranda? I mean, you must have heard of the 4th Amendment? What I'm saying is that man had rights.

HARRY: Well, I'm all broken up about that man's rights.

CHIEF: I want an answer. Have you been following that man?

HARRY: Yeah, I've been following him on my own time. And anybody can tell I didn't do that to him.


HARRY: ‘Cause he looks too damn good, that's how.

HARRY: You can just get yourself another delivery boy.

CHICO: Does that bag look brown to you?

HARRY: I don't know, I haven't even seen the son-of-a-b*$@h yet!

CHICO: Look out for these people!

PEOPLE: Hey, fruitcake, look where you're.....

HARRY: Get the hell out of the way, Hammerhead!

HARRY: Looks like we climb.

DiGEORGIO: Uh uh... too much liguine.

PUNK 1: Hey, man! What's in the bag?

HARRY: You two dudes get lost now, ya hear?

PUNK 2: Screw the bag, just gives us your wallet!

HARRY: You don't listen. Do ya, @#!hole?

HARRY: The girl, where is she?

SCORPIO: You tried to kill me!

HARRY: If I tried that your head would be splattered all over this field! Now where's the girl?!

SCORPIO: I want a lawyer.

HARRY: I said where's the girl?!

SCOPRIO: I have the right for a lawyer!

HARRY: Where's the girl?!

SCORPIO: I have rights for a lawyer!

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« Reply #13 on: January 14, 2016, 03:50:11 PM »


KIDD: Straight up or over the saddle. Either one.

KIDD: Ramón, lead off huh? (Ramón rides ahead and is shot off his horse, dead.) Figured we might be too close.

(This one is from a deleted scene):

KIDD: Walk a straight line through a cow pasture you gotta step in some cow pies, but you get where you're goin'.

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« Reply #14 on: January 14, 2016, 05:33:50 PM »


PREACHER: See here, you can't turn all these people out into the night. It is inhuman, brother. Inhuman!

STRANGER: I'm not your brother.

PREACHER: We are all brothers in the eyes of God.

STRANGER: All these people, are they your sisters and brothers?

PREACHER: They most certainly are.

STRANGER: Then you won't mind if they come over and stay at your place, will ya?

STRANGER: I'd love to oblige you, but ... a man's got to get his rest sometime.

STRANGER: Somebody left the door open and the wrong dogs came home.

SARAH: I knew you were cruel, but I didn't know how far you'd go.

STRANGER: Well, you still don't.

STRANGER: Well, it's what people know about themselves inside that make them afraid.


STRANGER: To your feet ma'am. They're almost as big as your mouth.

BILLY BORDERS: Flea bitten range bums don't usually stop in Lago. Life here's a little too quick for them. Maybe you think you're fast enough to keep up with us, huh?

STRANGER: A lot faster than you'll ever live to be.

SHERIFF: The ambush. What would it cost us?

STRANGER: Sheriff, I don't know as if I really like this town that much.

SHERIFF: Well this is a God fearin' town. These are God-fearing people

STRANGER: You like ‘em... you save ‘em.

CALLIE: You're an animal!

STRANGER: Well you have a way of bringing that out.

DAVE DRAKE: I hope you're not going to blame us for Morgan Allen's stupidity, because the rest of us here have a... have an agreement with you.

STRANGER: Well, right now I don't feel too agreeable.

MORDECAI: I'm just about done here. I never did know your name.

STRANGER: Yes you do.

STRANGER: I wonder what took her so long to get mad.

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« Reply #15 on: January 14, 2016, 05:35:36 PM »


HARRY CALLAHAN: A man's got to know his limitations.

CALLAHAN: You know those guys?

EARLY SMITH: They came through the Academy after me. They stick together like flypaper, you know? Everybody thought they were queer for each other.

CALLAHAN: Tell you something. If the rest of you could shoot like them, I wouldn't care if the whole damn department was queer.

SUNNY: What does a girl have to do to go to bed with you?

CALLAHAN: Try knocking on the door.

CALLAHAN: Nothing wrong with shooting as long as the right people get shot.

ASTRACHAN: Do you have any idea how hard it is to prosecute a cop?

CALLAHAN: You heroes have killed a dozen people this week. What are you gonna do next week?

DAVIS: Kill a dozen more.

CALLAHAN: Is that what you guys are all about? Being heroes?

ASTRACHAN: All our heroes are dead.

DAVIS: We're the first generation that's learned to fight. We're simply ridding society of killers that would be caught and sentenced anyway if our courts worked properly. We began with the criminals that the people know so that our actions would be understood. It's not just a question of whether or not to use violence. There simply is no other way, Inspector. You of all people... should understand that.

GRIMES: Either you're for us or you're against us.

CALLAHAN: I'm afraid you've misjudged me.

CALLAHAN: Your gun's out of your holster, Briggs. First time?

CALLAHAN: Briggs was right. You guys don't have enough experience.

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« Reply #16 on: January 14, 2016, 05:37:24 PM »


THUNDERBOLT: Sometimes you have to pay for your pleasure.

THUNDERBOLT: Don't ever point a gun at me, understand?! (Punches Goody) Not even a twig!

THUNDERBOLT: Slightly advanced.

LIGHTFOOT:  Do you think...

THUNDERBOLT: I don't know, but it do present mind-boggling possibilities.

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« Reply #17 on: January 14, 2016, 05:39:09 PM »


POPE: My superior wants to see you.

HEMLOCK: Your superior? Well that doesn't narrow the field much, does it?

HEMLOCK: Does your physical disability preclude you from coming to the point?

HEMLOCK: Dragon, you have a talent for describing the indescribable.

HEMLOCK: I hate being predictable.

HEMLOCK: If you'll just give me your name, I'll report it to the proper authorities when we land.

JEMIMA: Jemima.

HEMLOCK: And I'm Uncle Ben.

JEMIMA: I'm serious, that's really my name! Jemima Brown. My mother was hooked on being ethnic.

HEMLOCK: Or else turned on by a pancake. As long as we both agree that it's too much for a black chick to have the name of "Jemima".

JEMIMA: Oh, I don't know... I mean, people don't forget you when your name is Jemima.

HEMLOCK: I don't think people would forget you if your name was Alfred.

BEN BOWMAN: Jesus Christ, John, don't you ever say anything?!

HEMLOCK: Well I'm waiting for your mouth to get tired.

BOWMAN: Want a beer?

HEMLOCK: You gonna call room service?

BOWMAN: We got beer.

HEMLOCK: If you hauled beer up this rock, you're insane.

BOWMAN: I may be insane, but I'm not stupid. I didn't carry it, you did. It's in your pack.(Pulls a six-pack out of Hemlock's backpack.)

HEMLOCK: Jesus Christ, I ought to throw you off this pillar. Besides, it's warm.

BOWMAN: I'm sorry, I thought you'd draw the line at hauling ice.

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« Reply #18 on: January 14, 2016, 05:42:58 PM »


JOSEY: Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?

JOSEY: You a bounty hunter?

BOUNTY HUNTER: A man has to do something these days to earn a living.

JOSEY: Dyin' ain't much of a living boy.

JOSEY: There are three kinds of suns in Missouri: Sunshines, sunflowers, and sons-of-b*$@hes.

JAMIE: Wish we had time to bury them fellows.

JOSEY: To hell with them fellows. (Spits tobacco) Buzzards gotta eat... same as worms.

JOSEY: I reckon so.

CARPETBAGGER: Your young friend could use some help. This is it. One dollar a bottle. It works wonders on wounds.

JOSEY: Works wonders on just about everything, huh?

CARPETBAGGER: It can do most anything.

JOSEY: (Spits wad of chewing tobacco onto the carpetbagger's jacket) How is it with stains?

JOSEY: I don't want nobody belonging to me.

JOSEY: Chief, I was just wondering, I suppose that mangy red-boned hound's got nowhere else to go either. (Spits tobacco on the dog) He might as well ride along with us. Hell, everybody else is.

JOSEY: When I get to liking someone, they ain't around long.

LONE WATIE: I notice when you get to disliking someone they ain't around for long neither.

LONE WATIE: Why don't you stay with us? Be our partner? They won't miss you, maybe they'll forget you.

JOSEY: You know there ain't no forgetting.

JOSEY: Now remember, when things look bad and it looks like you're not gonna make it, then you got to get mean. I mean plumb, mad-dog mean! Cause if you lose your head and you give up, then you neither live nor win. That's just the way it is.

JOSEY: You be Ten Bears?

TEN BEARS: I am Ten Bears.

JOSEY: (Spits tobacco) I'm Josey Wales.

TEN BEARS: I have heard. You're the Gray Rider. You would not make peace with the Blue Coats. You may go in peace.

JOSEY: I reckon not. Got nowhere to go.

TEN BEARS: Then you will die.

JOSEY: I came here to die with you. Or live with you. Dying ain't so hard for men like you and me, it's living that's hard; when all you ever cared about has been butchered or raped. Governments don't live together, people live together. With governments you don't always get a fair word or a fair fight. Well I've come here to give you either one, or get either one from you. I came here like this so you'll know my word of death is true. And that my word of life is then true. The bear lives here, the wolf, the antelope, the Comanche. And so will we. Now, we'll only hunt what we need to live on, same as the Comanche does. And every spring when the grass turns green and the Comanche moves north, he can rest here in peace, butcher some of our cattle and jerk beef for the journey. The sign of the Comanche, that will be on our lodge. That's my word of life.

TEN BEARS: And your word of death?

JOSEY: It's here in my pistols, there in your rifles. I'm here for either one.

TEN BEARS: These things you say we will have, we already have.

JOSEY: That's true. I ain't promising you nothing extra. I'm just giving you life and you're giving me life. And I'm saying that men can live together without butchering one another.

TEN BEARS: It's sad that governments are chiefed by the double-tongues. There is iron in your word of death for all Comanche to see. And so there is iron in your words of life. No signed paper can hold the iron, it must come from men. The words of Ten Bears carries the same iron of life and death. It is good that warriors such as we meet in the struggle of life... or death. It shall be life. (He takes his knife and cuts his hand. Josey does the same and they grasp each other's hand.) So shall it be.

JOSEY: Sometimes trouble just follows a man.

FLETCHER: I don't believe that story about Josey Wales.

TEN SPOT: You don't?

FLETCHER: No sir, I don't. I don't believe no five pistoleros could do in Josey Wales.

ROSE: Maybe it was six. Could have even been ten.

FLETCHER: I think he's still alive.

TEN SPOT: Alive? (Laughs nervously) No sir.

(Josey steps down from the saloon, with his back to Fletcher.)

FLETCHER: I think I'll go down to Mexico to try to find him.

(Josey turns to face him, the men look at each other.)

JOSEY: And then?

FLETCHER: (Slowly approaches Josey) He's got the first move. I owe him that. I think I'll try to tell him the war is over.

(Josey nods slightly, as Fletcher notices blood dripping down onto Josey's boot.)

FLETCHER: What do you say, Mr. Wilson?

JOSEY: I reckon so. (Long pause, as Josey thinks of leaving, then turns back toward Fletcher) I guess we all died a little in that damn war. (Josey slowly mounts his horse, and rides away.)

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« Reply #19 on: January 14, 2016, 05:46:22 PM »


HARRY: May I make a statement, McKay?

McKAY: Go ahead.

HARRY: Your mouthwash aint makin' it.

HARRY: Marvelous.

DiGEORGIO: What do they want?

CALLAHAN: They want a car.

DiGEORGIO: What are you gonna do?

CALLAHAN: Give them one.

DiGEORGIO: What makes a man crazy enough to join the cops?

CALLAHAN: If you find out, you let me know, huh?

McKAY: I'm not gonna debate this with you, Inspector. I've been on the phone with the mayor twice this morning. He went right through the ceiling over this.

CALLAHAN: Did you tell him about the meeting?

McKAY: What meeting?

CALLAHAN: The meeting right here in your office two months ago when you said high priority was to run the hoods out of San Francisco.

McKAY: I never said to use violence!

CALLAHAN: Well what'd you want me to do? Yell "trick or treat" at them?

BRESSLER: Come on, Harry.

McKAY: I expect you and every other man on the force to behave with restraint or turn in his resignation. You're on notice, Callahan. This little Wild West show of yours yesterday is exactly the kind of thing this department is no longer prepared to tolerate. Is that clear?

BRESSLER: Yes, sir.

CALLAHAN: If that's all, Captain, I've got work to do.

McKAY: But not in Homicide.


McKAY: You've been transferred to Personnel.

CALLAHAN: To Personnel? That's for @#!holes!

McKAY: I was in Personnel for ten years.


MRS. GREY: His Honor intends to broaden the areas of participation for women in the police force.

CALLAHAN: Well that sounds very stylish.

CALLAHAN: Hypothetical situation, huh? All right, I'm standing on the street corner and Mrs. Grey here comes up and propositions me... that if I come home with her, for five dollars she'll put on an exhibition with a Shetland pony.

MRS. GREY: If this is your idea of humor, Inspector...

BOARD EXAMINER: All right, what are you trying to do here, Callahan?

CALLAHAN: I'm just trying to find out if anybody in this room knows what the hell law's being broken... besides cruelty to animals.

CALLAHAN: If she wants to play lumberjack, she's gonna have to learn to handle her end of the log.

CALLAHAN: Captain, if you want to jerk all these people off you can, but don't do it with me.

McKAY: That's it Callahan. You just got yourself a sixty day suspension!

CALLAHAN: Make it ninety!

McKAY: 180. Give me your star!

CALLAHAN: (Hands over badge) Here's a seven-point suppository, Captain.

McKAY: What did you say?

CALLAHAN: I said stick it in your ass!

CALLAHAN: I'll be down there in five minutes, and you'd better have that file open, you pencil-pushing son-of-a-b*$@h!

CALLAHAN: Does everything have a sexual connotation with you?

MUSTAPHA: You really are a dirty bastard, ain't ya, Harry?

CALLAHAN: The dirtiest.

CALLAHAN: You're not making us feel too welcome.

MUSTAPHA MEMBER: Oh, you're welcome. About as welcome as a turd in a swimming pool.

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