KOWALSKI: Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have f@#ked with? That's me.
KOWALSKI: Oh, I've got one. A Mexican, a Jew, and a colored guy go into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Get the fu<k out of here."
MARTIN: There. You finally look like a human being again. You shouldn't wait so long between hair cuts, you cheap son of a b*tch.
KOWALSKI: Yeah. I'm surprised you're still around. I was always hoping you'd die off and they got someone in here that knew what the hell they were doing. Instead, you're just hanging around like the doo-wop dago you are.
MARTIN: That'll be ten bucks, Walt.
KOWALSKI: Ten bucks? Jesus Christ, Marty. What are you, half Jew or somethin'? You keep raising the damn prices all the time.
MARTIN: It's been ten bucks for the last five years, you hard-nosed Polack son of a b*tch.
KOWALSKI: Yeah, well keep the change.
MARTIN: See you in three weeks, prick.
KOWALSKI: Not if I see you first, dipsh*t.
KOWALSKI: I'll blow a hole in your face then go inside and sleep like a baby.
KOWALSKI: Get off my lawn!
KOWALSKI: I once fixed a door that wasn't even broken yet.
JANOVICH: Why didn't you call the police?
KOWALSKI: Well you know, I prayed for them to come but nobody answered.
KOWALSKI: How ya doing Martin, you crazy Italian prick?
KOWALSKI: Ohh... He's a pussy kid from next door. I'm trying to man him up a little bit.
KOWALSKI: Take it easy, take it easy! What the hell are you doing? Have you lost your mind?
KOWALSKI: You don't just come in and insult the man in his own shop! You just don't do that. What happens if you meet some stranger? You get the wrong one, he's gonna blow your gook head right off!
KOWALSKIi: I think you're an over-educated 27-year-old virgin who likes to hold the hands of superstitious old ladies and promise them everlasting life.
KOWALSKI: Take these three items, some WD-40, a vise grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone.
YOUA: You're funny.
KOWALSKI: I've been called a lot of things, but never funny.
KOWALSKI: What the hell does everybody want with my Gran Torino?
KOWALSKI: I blow a hole in your face and then I go in the house and I sleep like a baby. You can count on that. We used to stack fu<ks like you five feet high in Korea... use ya for sandbags.
KOWALSKI: Watch your language, lady.
KOWALSKI: Relax, zipperhead. I'm not gonna shoot you. I'd look down too, if I was you. You know, I knew you were a dipsh*t the first time I ever saw you. Then I thought you were worse with women than stealing cars... Toad.
THAOr: It's Thao.
THAO: It's not Toad, my name is Thao.
KOWALSKI: Yeah, well, you were blowing it with that girl who was there. Not that I give two $#!ts about a toad like you.
THAO: You don't know what you're talking about.
KOWALSKI: You're wrong, Eggroll, I know exactly what I'm talking about. I may not be the most pleasant person to be around, but I got the best woman who was ever on this planet to marry me. I worked at it, it was the best thing ever happened to me. Hands down. But you, you know, you're letting Click-Clack, Ding-Dong and Charlie Chan just walk out with Miss What's-her-face. She likes you, you know? Though I don't know why!
KOWALSKI: Yum Yum. You know, the girl in the purple sweater. She's been looking at you all day, stupid!
THAO: You mean Youa?
KOWALSKI: Yeah... Yum Yum... yeah... nice girl... nice girl, very charming girl... I talked with her... yeah. But you, you just let her walk out right out with the Three Stooges. And you know why? 'Cause you're a big fat pussy. Well, I gotta go. Good day, pussycake.
KOWALSKI: What are you spooks up to?
KOWALSKI: I confess that I have no desire to confess.
KOWALSKI: The old hag hates my guts!
JANOVICH: Go in peace.
KOWALSKI: Oh, I am at peace.
KOWALSKI: Get me another beer, Dragon Lady! This one's running on empty.
THAO: What was it like to kill someone?
KOWALSKI: You don't want to know.
KOWALSKI: We shot men, stabbed them with bayonets, chopped up 17 year olds with shovels.
KOWALSKI: Would it kill you to buy American?
KOWALSKI: I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!
KOWALSKI: It ain't rocket science for Christ's sake.
KOWALSKI: You got your whole life ahead of you, but for me, I finish things.
KOWALSKI: You wanna know what it's like to kill a man? Well, it's goddamn awful, that's what it is. The only thing worse is getting a medal... for killing some poor kid that wanted to just give up, that's all. Yeah, some scared little gook just like you. I shot him in the face with that rifle you were holding in there a while ago. Not a day goes by that I don't think about it, and you don't want that on your soul.
KOWALSKI: Shut your fu<kin' face!
KOWALSKI: The thing that haunts a guy is the stuff he wasn't ordered to do.
KOWALSKI: Jesus, Joseph and Mary. These Hmong broads are like badgers.
KOWALSKI: How many swamp rats can you get in one room?
SUE: The Lutherans brought us over.
KOWALSKI: Everybody blames the Lutherans.
KOWALSKI: [reading aloud from the newspaper] Your birthday today, Daisy. This year you have to make a choice between two life paths. Second chances comes your way. Extraordinary events culminate in what might seem to be an anticlimax. Your lucky numbers are 84, 23, 11, 78, and 99. What a load of sh*t.
KOWALSKI: Get your ofay paddy ass on down the road.
KOWALSKI: Come on, Zipperhead. We'll leave the mick here to play with himself.Back to the Index