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Author Topic: Favorite Eastwood Quotes (Reference Thread)  (Read 7141 times)
Matt
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« Reply #40 on: January 17, 2016, 12:41:35 PM »

ABSOLUTE POWER




LUTHER: This person, they go in the front door, they go out a window and down a rope in the middle of the night? If I could do something like that, I'd be the star of my A.A.R.P. meetings.

(Later in that same scene)

SETH: Why don't you go on about the wig makers.

LUTHER: Well I would, but I've got to go have my pacemaker checked, it's been so exciting talking to you.

SETH: A, you don't have a pacemaker. And B, I'll be back tomorrow.

LUTHER: Tomorrow is promised to no one.



COLLIN: Luther, he's my president... right or wrong.

LUTHER: Well, he made a mistake. You made a mistake. When you went after my little girl, that was entirely unacceptable.

COLLIN: Mercy....

LUTHER: I'm fresh out.



LUTHER: Oh, come on, Mr. Sullivan. We're too old to bullsh*t each other.


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« Reply #41 on: January 17, 2016, 12:50:58 PM »

TRUE CRIME




EVERETT: Frankly, I don't give a rat's @ss about Jesus Christ, and I don't care about justice in this world or the next. I don't even care what's right or wrong. Never have. But do you know what this is?

BEACHUM: What is this, some kind of joke?

EVERETT: No, it's no joke. That's my nose. To tell you the pitiful truth, that's all I have in life. When my nose tells me something stinks I gotta have faith in it, just like you have your faith in Jesus. When my nose is working well I know there's truth out there somewhere, but if it isn't working well then they might as well drive me off a cliff, 'cause I'm nothing. Well, lately I'm not one hundred percent sure my nose has really been working that great. So I've gotta ask you, did you kill that woman or not?



EVERETT: Give me something, God damn it!



EVERETT: Warden? You're not really sure are ya?



D.A. NUSSBAUM: Call my office in the morning, I'll try to help you out.

EVERETT: If you wait till the morning, you better sleep God damn well tonight 'cause after today I'm gonna haunt the $#!t out of you, understand? I'm gonna haunt your ass all over this God damn town.



BRIDGET: Ohhh, more and more office workers are insisting on the right not to breathe second-hand smoke.

EVERETT: And more and more scumbags don't care.

(Bridget laughs)

EVERETT: Well, Bridget... you're an adorable person.

BRIDGET: Sexual harassment. Hmmm... what are the guidelines?

EVERETT: Who can say?

BRIDGET: I hate my job, Ev.

EVERETT: But I love watching you do it, Darling.



MANN: Didn't I tell you that Bob has been gunning for you since the day he got here... in his quiet, earnest, reasonable way? He's probably glad you're banging his wife, now he has some ethical mandate to annihilate you.

EVERETT: Well that's great, I live to make him happy. But that's not the problem.

MANN: You should have fu<ked my wife, I'd've just punched you out.

EVERETT: I did fu<k your wife.

MANN: Oh, lucky bastard. How was she, good?

EVERETT: A real wildcat.

MANN: Great.



EVERETT: Damn it, Bob! Why don't you hit me in the fu<king face, will you? I'll fall down, I'll bleed, I'll do all that. I deserve it. Then you can go home and hit your wife, 'cause she likes it.

MANN: (Laughs) Nice one, babe.



EVERETT: Santa Claus rides alone.


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« Reply #42 on: January 17, 2016, 12:55:26 PM »

SPACE COWBOYS




FRANK CORVIN: Put a sock in it, Sonny.



BOB GERSON: I can't fill up a space shuttle with geriatrics and you ought to be professional enough to know that. Hell, half those boys are probably dead anyway.

FRANK: Clock's ticking, Bob. And I'm only getting older.



TINY: I'll put you in the hospital old man.

FRANK: Well I've got Medicare. Go ahead and shoot your best shot.



JERRY: Hey, Frank. Holy cow, what are you doing here?

FRANK: Finding out what you're doing for the next month and a half. NASA wants to send us into space.

JERRY: (Laughs) I wondered which one of us was gonna go first. Senile dementia, Sweetheart. Forty-year-old memories are as sharp as the day they happened, but you can't remember what you had for breakfast. Frank Corvin, my associate, Cherie.

FRANK: Cherie.

CHERIE: Hi.

JERRY: What'd you have for breakfast, Frank?

FRANK: Let's see, I had vegetarian huevos rancheros, egg whites only, of course. Then some sort of a filtered decaf cappuccino that tasted like it was filtered through a jock strap.


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« Reply #43 on: January 17, 2016, 01:03:03 PM »

BLOOD WORK




BUDDY: This goes on any longer, I want a raise.

McCALEB: How about workman's comp?



DR. FOX: Have you been taking your pills every day?

McCALEB: Yeah, yeah all 34 of them.



DR. FOX: All your blood levels are good. I might lower your prednisone next week.

McCALEB: Oh, thank God. I'm getting tired of shaving three times a day.



McCALEB: An accident is fate, murder is evil.



GRACIELLA: You ever use a cell phone, McCaleb?

McCALEB: No, I don't believe in them. I always stick to a hard line.



McCALEB: Let's go see if we can find Lockridge at work.

WINSTON: What do you mean "let's go"? We just shot up half the valley!

McCALEB: Well, did you hit anyone?

WINSTON: No, thank God.

McCALEB: Well, neither did I. Let's go.



McCALEB: Arrango, next time you come to this dock, this Mexican is gonna kick your ass.


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« Reply #44 on: January 17, 2016, 01:03:39 PM »

MILLION DOLLAR BABY




MAGGIE: Mr. Dunn?

FRANKIE: I owe you money?

MAGGIE: No, sir.

FRANKIE: I know your mama?

MAGGIE: Thought you might be interested in training me.

FRANKIE: I don't train girls.

MAGGIE: People who seen me fight say I'm pretty tough.

FRANKIE: Girlie... tough ain't enough.



MAGGIE: I'm workin' the bag, Boss.

FRANKIE: I'm not your boss. And that bag's workin' you.


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« Reply #45 on: January 17, 2016, 01:53:14 PM »

GRAN TORINO




KOWALSKI:  Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have f@#ked with? That's me.



KOWALSKI: Oh, I've got one. A Mexican, a Jew, and a colored guy go into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, "Get the fu<k out of here."



MARTIN:  There. You finally look like a human being again. You shouldn't wait so long between hair cuts, you cheap son of a b*tch.

KOWALSKI: Yeah. I'm surprised you're still around. I was always hoping you'd die off and they got someone in here that knew what the hell they were doing. Instead, you're just hanging around like the doo-wop dago you are.

MARTIN: That'll be ten bucks, Walt.

KOWALSKI: Ten bucks? Jesus Christ, Marty. What are you, half Jew or somethin'? You keep raising the damn prices all the time.

MARTIN: It's been ten bucks for the last five years, you hard-nosed Polack son of a b*tch.

KOWALSKI: Yeah, well keep the change.

MARTIN: See you in three weeks, prick.

KOWALSKI: Not if I see you first, dipsh*t.



KOWALSKI: I'll blow a hole in your face then go inside and sleep like a baby.



KOWALSKI: Get off my lawn!



KOWALSKI: I once fixed a door that wasn't even broken yet.



JANOVICH: Why didn't you call the police?

KOWALSKI: Well you know, I prayed for them to come but nobody answered.



KOWALSKI: How ya doing Martin, you crazy Italian prick?



KOWALSKI: Ohh... He's a pussy kid from next door. I'm trying to man him up a little bit.



KOWALSKI: Take it easy, take it easy! What the hell are you doing? Have you lost your mind?



KOWALSKI: You don't just come in and insult the man in his own shop! You just don't do that. What happens if you meet some stranger? You get the wrong one, he's gonna blow your gook head right off!



KOWALSKIi:  I think you're an over-educated 27-year-old virgin who likes to hold the hands of superstitious old ladies and promise them everlasting life.



KOWALSKI: Take these three items, some WD-40, a vise grip, and a roll of duct tape. Any man worth his salt can fix almost any problem with this stuff alone.



YOUA: You're funny.

KOWALSKI: I've been called a lot of things, but never funny.



KOWALSKI: What the hell does everybody want with my Gran Torino?



KOWALSKI:  I blow a hole in your face and then I go in the house and I sleep like a baby. You can count on that. We used to stack fu<ks like you five feet high in Korea... use ya for sandbags.



KOWALSKI: Watch your language, lady.



KOWALSKI: Relax, zipperhead. I'm not gonna shoot you. I'd look down too, if I was you. You know, I knew you were a dipsh*t the first time I ever saw you. Then I thought you were worse with women than stealing cars... Toad.

THAOr: It's Thao.

KOWALSKI: What?

THAO: It's not Toad, my name is Thao.

KOWALSKI: Yeah, well, you were blowing it with that girl who was there. Not that I give two $#!ts about a toad like you.

THAO: You don't know what you're talking about.

KOWALSKI: You're wrong, Eggroll, I know exactly what I'm talking about. I may not be the most pleasant person to be around, but I got the best woman who was ever on this planet to marry me. I worked at it, it was the best thing ever happened to me. Hands down. But you, you know, you're letting Click-Clack, Ding-Dong and Charlie Chan just walk out with Miss What's-her-face. She likes you, you know? Though I don't know why!

THAO: Who?

KOWALSKI: Yum Yum. You know, the girl in the purple sweater. She's been looking at you all day, stupid!

THAO: You mean Youa?

KOWALSKI: Yeah... Yum Yum... yeah... nice girl... nice girl, very charming girl... I talked with her... yeah. But you, you just let her walk out right out with the Three Stooges. And you know why? 'Cause you're a big fat pussy. Well, I gotta go. Good day, pussycake.



KOWALSKI: What are you spooks up to?



KOWALSKI: I confess that I have no desire to confess.



KOWALSKI:  The old hag hates my guts!



JANOVICH: Go in peace.

KOWALSKI: Oh, I am at peace.



KOWALSKI: Get me another beer, Dragon Lady! This one's running on empty.



THAO: What was it like to kill someone?

KOWALSKI: You don't want to know.



KOWALSKI: We shot men, stabbed them with bayonets, chopped up 17 year olds with shovels.



KOWALSKI: Would it kill you to buy American?



KOWALSKI: I'm no hero. I was just trying to get that babbling gook off my lawn!



KOWALSKI: It ain't rocket science for Christ's sake.



KOWALSKI: You got your whole life ahead of you, but for me, I finish things.



KOWALSKI:  You wanna know what it's like to kill a man? Well, it's goddamn awful, that's what it is. The only thing worse is getting a medal... for killing some poor kid that wanted to just give up, that's all. Yeah, some scared little gook just like you. I shot him in the face with that rifle you were holding in there a while ago. Not a day goes by that I don't think about it, and you don't want that on your soul.



KOWALSKI: Shut your fu<kin' face!



KOWALSKI: The thing that haunts a guy is the stuff he wasn't ordered to do.



KOWALSKI: Jesus, Joseph and Mary. These Hmong broads are like badgers.



KOWALSKI: How many swamp rats can you get in one room?



SUE: The Lutherans brought us over.

KOWALSKI: Everybody blames the Lutherans.



KOWALSKI: [reading aloud from the newspaper] Your birthday today, Daisy. This year you have to make a choice between two life paths. Second chances comes your way. Extraordinary events culminate in what might seem to be an anticlimax. Your lucky numbers are 84, 23, 11, 78, and 99. What a load of sh*t.



KOWALSKI: Get your ofay paddy ass on down the road.



KOWALSKI:  Come on, Zipperhead. We'll leave the mick here to play with himself.



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« Reply #46 on: January 17, 2016, 03:07:56 PM »

TROUBLE WITH THE CURVE




GUS: Now get out of here before I have a heart attack trying to kill you.



GUS:  Being comfortable is overrated.



GUS:  What do you say now, jackass? That's known as trouble with the curve.



GUS: What are you all staring at? I'm not a pole dancer.



GUS: Well, it looks like I'll be taking the bus.



GUS:  Okay, come on now. Come on, boy. Let's not take your sweet-ass time about this. Jesus. Okay, that's it... Ah, good. Don't laugh, I outlived you, you little bastard.



GUS: You just need to get as far away from me as you can. Can't you understand that?



GUS: Anybody who uses computers doesn't know a damn thing about this game.



GUS: I think maybe, maybe I could change the way I do things.


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