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Author Topic: Favorite Eastwood Quotes and One-Liners  (Read 44572 times)
Matt
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« on: December 03, 2002, 05:00:32 PM »

D'Ambrosia had started a great thread a couple years ago where everyone listed their favorite Eastwood one-liners.  That thread's gone now, along with a few others we really miss.  But, with everyone's help, maybe we can get another thread going that will be just as good.  Everyone add your favorites here....  and keep adding, and adding, and adding...

(I've come back to this first post of the thread many months later to provide links to web pages where the quotes in this thread can be found in a more organized fashion.  Keep adding your posts to this thread, and as you do, I'll add them to the web pages.   Below is a link to a new Favorite Eastwood Quotes website I've been working on...  the website has a page for each Eastwood movie, and all the quotes from this thread will be found there.  It may take me a few days to get this project done, but it should be worth it. :) )

FAVORITE EASTWOOD QUOTES

« Last Edit: May 02, 2003, 06:52:07 PM by Matt » Logged
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« Reply #1 on: December 03, 2002, 05:01:54 PM »

Well, I see this thread is off to a great start!   ;)  

Now that baseball season is over, maybe I'll watch an Eastwood film every night, and jot down the best lines and add them to this thread.  If anyone else would like to join in... that would be fine!   ;)  

Here's some to get us started:

Quote
MANCO:  Well, if there's gonna be any shooting, I gotta get my rest. -- For a Few Dollars More

And, not exactly a one-liner but a favorite exchange of mine from High Plains Drifter:

Quote
PREACHER:  See here, you can't turn all these people out into the night.  It is inhuman, brother.  Inhuman!

STRANGER:   I'm not your brother.

PREACHER:  We are all brothers in the eyes of God.

STRANGER:  All these people, are they your sisters and brothers?

PREACHER:  They most certainly are.

STRANGER:  Then you won't mind if they come over and stay at your place, will ya?

Here's another from High Plains Drifter

Quote
STRANGER:  I'd love to oblige you, but ... a man's got to get his rest sometime.
« Last Edit: April 19, 2003, 01:19:59 AM by Matt » Logged
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« Reply #2 on: December 03, 2002, 05:04:28 PM »

Originally posted by mgk
From Space Cowboys:

Quote
Dr. Frank Corvin:  Put a sock in it, Sonny.

Corvin says that to Ethan, "that M.I.T weenie with blow dried hair."

mgk
« Last Edit: January 06, 2003, 12:44:29 AM by Matt » Logged
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« Reply #3 on: December 03, 2002, 05:09:16 PM »

Thanks, M!

True to my word, I started watching Eastwood films tonight in search of good one liners.  Here's a couple of good exchanges from Coogan's Bluff:

 
Quote
COOGAN:  Nobody calls me mister with my boots off.
Quote
JULIE:  I only handle young, single girls.

COOGAN:  Yeah, me too.
Quote
TAXI DRIVER:  That's $2.95 including the luggage.

COOGAN:  Tell me... how many stores are there named "Bloomingdales" in this town?

TAXI DRIVER:  One.  Why?

COOGAN:  Well you passed it twice.

TAXI DRIVER:  It's still $2.95 including the luggage.

COOGAN:  Yeah, well there's $3.00... including the tip.
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Matt
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« Reply #4 on: December 03, 2002, 05:12:18 PM »

Originally posted by Christopher
Here's a conversation from Magnum Force

Quote
HARRY CALLAHAN: You know those guys?

EARLY SMITH: They came through the Academy after me. They stick together like flypaper, you know? Everybody thought they were queer for each other.

HARRY CALLAHAN: Tell you something. If the rest of you could shoot like them, I wouldn't care if the whole damn department was queer.

There's some other good ones from Magnum Force, when I've got more time I'll try to put some more up.
« Last Edit: January 06, 2003, 12:49:39 AM by Matt » Logged
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« Reply #5 on: December 03, 2002, 05:14:36 PM »

Originally posted by D'Ambrosia
One of my personal favorites from the gem of one-liners, Heartbreak Ridge.
Quote
Baldy: “I don’t like soldier boys.”

Highway: “Say what?”

Baldy: “If you want to pop that puppies can you don’t have to grease him so hard jar head.”

Highway: “Sounds like you’re a man of experience.”

Baldy: “What the fu<ks that suppose to mean grunt sh!t?”

Highway: “It mean be advised, I’m mean nasty and tired. I eat constintino wire and piss napalm and I can put a round through a fleas ass at 200 meters so you go and hump somebody else’s leg mutt face before I push yours in.”

Baldy: “Ain’t going to be so smart with your balls stuffed in your mouth JAR HEAD!”

Highway: “Hang on to this boy, I think wars just been declared…”
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« Reply #6 on: December 03, 2002, 05:30:07 PM »

Here's a few from Hang 'em High:

 
Quote
COOPER:  When you hang a man, you better look at him.


Quote
MILLER:  You ain't never gonna get me alive to Fort Grant, boy.

COOPER:  Then I'll get you there dead.... boy.

 
Quote
COOPER:  You know you're a nag?  A very pretty one, but a nag.
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« Reply #7 on: December 03, 2002, 05:32:29 PM »

Originally posted by AKA23
A great exchange from True Crime :

Quote
Everett: Frankly I don't give a rat's ass about Jesus Christ, and I don't care about justice in this world or the next. I don't even care what's right or wrong. Never have. But do you know what this is?

Beachum: What is this, some kind of joke?

Everett: No, it's no joke. That's my nose. To tell you the pitiful truth that's all I have in life. When my nose tells me something stinks I gotta have faith in it, just like you have your faith in Jesus. When my nose is working well I know there's truth out there somewhere but if it isn't working well then they might as well drive me off a cliff cause I'm nothing. Well, lately I'm not 100 percent sure my nose has really been working that great. So I've gotta ask you, did you kill that woman or not?

And this one:

 
Quote
Everett: Give me something goddamn it!

Another one:

 
Quote
Everett: Warden? You're not really sure are ya?


Quote

D.A. Nussbaum:  Call my office in the morning, I'll try to help you out.

Everett: If you wait till the morning, you better sleep goddamn well tonight 'cause after today I'm gonna haunt the sh!t out of you, understand? I'm gonna haunt your ass all over this goddamn town.

There's loads more but those are just a few good ones from this film!
« Last Edit: January 19, 2003, 10:44:50 PM by Matt » Logged
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« Reply #8 on: December 03, 2002, 05:34:51 PM »

Here's a bunch of good ones from A Fistul of Dollars.  Just about every word of dialogue is a classic in this one.

 
Quote

JOE:  (To Piripero)  Get three coffins ready.

MAN:  Adios Amigo.

MAN 2:  We don't like to see bad boys like you in town.

MAN 3:  Go get your mule.  You let him get away from you?

JOE:  You see, that's what I want to talk to you about.  He's feeling real bad.

MAN 3:  Huh?

JOE:  My mule.  You see, he got all riled up when you men fired those shots at his feet.

MAN 2:  Hey, are you making some kind of joke?

JOE:  No.   See, I understand you men were just playin' around.  But the mule, he just doesn't get it.  Of course, if you were to all apologize.

(The men laugh.  Joe moves the poncho aside, exposing his pistol.)

JOE:  I don't think it's nice, you laughin'.   See, my mule don't like people laughing.  He gets the crazy idea you're laughing at him.  Now if you apologize, like I know you're going to, I might convince him that you really didn't mean it......

(Pause as music builds, men draw their guns.  Joe draws his and fires five shots.)

JOHN BAXTER:  I saw the whole thing.  You killed all four of them.  You'll pay all right.  You'll be strung up.

JOE:  (Draws gun)  Who are you?

JOHN BAXTER:  I'm John Baxter, sheriff.

JOE:  Yeah, well, if you're the sheriff, you'd better get those men underground.  (Lowers poncho and walks off, passing Piripero.)  My mistake.  Four coffins.

 
Quote
JOE: You'll have to mark this up.



Quote
ESTEBAN: What are you doing?

JOE: Moving

ESTEBAN: But did you know all our men live here with us?

JOE: That's all very cozy but I don't find you men all that appealin'.



Quote
RAMÓN: Life can be so precious.  It's foolish to risk losing it every minute.  No, there's plenty of space for everybody in this town.  Even Baxters, hmmm?  For this reason, I've decided to hang my gun up on the wall.

DON MIGUEL: I think that Ramón has the right idea.  I, too, am getting tired of these killings.  They must stop.

JOE: This is all very, very touching.

RAMÓN: You mean you don't admire peace?

JOE: It's not real easy to like something you know nothing about.

RAMÓN: Stay in San Miguel and you may just profit from the experience.

JOE: No thanks.  I'll be movin' on.


 
Quote
CONSEULA BAXTER: Very soon, you are going to be rich.  (Hands Joe a fistful of dollars)

JOE: Uh huh.  (Takes the money) Yeah, and that's not gonna break my heart.
« Last Edit: December 03, 2002, 05:36:06 PM by Matt » Logged
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« Reply #9 on: December 03, 2002, 05:37:05 PM »

A few more from For a Few Dollars More:

 
Quote
Very careless of you, old man.



Quote
Bravo.



Quote
I guess I'd better leave before you go and lose your temper.



Quote
MORTIMER: Any trouble, boy?

MANCO: No old man. Thought I was having trouble with my adding. It's all right now.
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« Reply #10 on: December 03, 2002, 05:38:49 PM »

Originally posted by Munny

A few gems from Sudden Impact.

Quote
Listen punk, to me you ain't nothing but dog sh!t you understand. And a lot of things can happen to dog sh!t. It can be scraped up with a shovel off the ground, it can dry up and blow away in the wind, or it can be stepped on and squashed, so take my advice and be careful where the dog sh!ts ya.


Quote
We're not just gonna let you walk outta here. 'Who's we sucka?' Smith, Wesson, and me.  


Quote
Go ahead, make my day.


Quote
No, that doesnt bother me.. ( what?) the crime, the apathy, people being thrown off third story floors, old ladies getting their heads bashed in for their social security checks... that doesnt bother me at all..you wanna know what bothers me?.. you wanna know what really makes me sick to my stomach?... ( what!, what is it Harry? ) its watching you stuff your face with those hotdogs...I mean nobody, nobody puts ketchup on hotdogs!
« Last Edit: January 14, 2003, 09:11:03 PM by Matt » Logged
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« Reply #11 on: December 03, 2002, 05:40:20 PM »

Originally posted by Munny

That's a great Gunny Highway quote up above.  Here are a couple more:

Quote
If I was half as ugly as you, Sergeant Major, I'd be a poster boy for a prophylactic!  


Quote
(Gunny fires at his troops)  This is the AK-47 assault rifle, the preferred weapon of your enemy.  It makes a distinctive sound when fired at you.  So remember it.
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« Reply #12 on: December 03, 2002, 05:43:59 PM »

I just watched The Good, The Bad and The Ugly again.  What a film!  Man, the more I watch it, the more I love it.  It might be inching its way to the very top of my favorites list.    :)  

Anyway, since this thread is supposed to concentrate on EASTWOOD one-liners, I'll limit these entries to Blondie's best lines...

   
Quote
TUCO:  There are two kinds of people in the world, my friend.  Those with a rope around their neck and the people who have the job of doing the cutting.  Listen, the neck at the end of the rope is mine!  I run the risks.  So the next time, I want more than half.

BLONDIE:  You may run the risks, my friend, but I do the cutting.  If we cut down my percentage... cigar?  It might interfere with my aim.


 
Quote
BLONDIE:  The way I figure... there's really not too much future with a sawed-off runt like you.


 
Quote
BLONDIE:  Such ingratitutde after all the times I've saved your life.


 
Quote
TUCO: (Seeing troops approaching)  They're gray like us.  Let's say "hello" to them and then get going.  (Yelling to the troops)  Hurrah!  Hurrah for the Confederacy!  Hurrah!  Down with General Grant!  Hurrah for General... (to Blondie) What's his name?

BLONDIE:  Lee.

TUCO:  (Yelling to the troops again)  Lee!  God is with us because he hates the Yanks too!  Hurrah!

BLONDIE:  (Watching closely as the troops approach)  God is not on our side 'cause he hates idiots also.

(The troops arrive before them, and beat the gray dust off their Union uniforms)



Quote
BLONDIE:  I've never seen so many men wasted so badly.



Quote
TUCO:  (Reading note left behind by Angel Eyes)  "See you soon, id - id-"

BLONDIE:  (Takes the note)  "Idiots".  (Hands the note back to Tuco)  It's for you.



Quote
BLONDIE:  You see, in this world, there's two kinds of people, my friend.  Those with loaded guns, and those who dig.  You dig.
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« Reply #13 on: December 03, 2002, 05:45:14 PM »

Here's some from Two Mules for Sister Sara:

 
Quote
HOGAN:  Sister, I don't mind shootin' 'em for ya, but I"ll be damned if I'm gonna sweat over 'em for ya.



Quote
SARA:Then you don't have anything to do for their cause?

HOGAN:  Not their's or anybody else's.  You see, I spent two years in a war in the States.  Right now, all I'm interested in is money.

SARA:  If money is all you care about, then why did you fight in that war?

HOGAN:  Everybody's got a right to be a sucker once.



Quote
HOGAN:  It's nice to hear you laugh, ma'am.

SARA:  You think nuns don't laugh?

HOGAN:  I don't know, I never spent the night with one before.
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« Reply #14 on: December 03, 2002, 05:47:31 PM »

Originally posted by Doug
Here's some good ones from  High Plains Drifter.

 
Quote
Stranger: Somebody left the door open and the wrong dogs came home.

 
Quote
Sarah: I knew you were cruel, but I didn't know how far you'd go.

Stranger: Well, you still don't.


Quote

Stranger: Well, it's what people know about themselves inside that make them afraid.

And my favorite:

Quote
Out.
« Last Edit: January 06, 2003, 12:53:59 AM by Matt » Logged
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« Reply #15 on: December 03, 2002, 05:54:24 PM »

They're all great quotes, Doug.  Thanks for adding them here!

Here's a couple one liners from Joe Kidd:

 
Quote
Straight up or over the saddle.  Either one.



Quote
Ramón, lead off huh?  (Ramón rides ahead and is shot off his horse, dead.)  Figured we might be too close.

And here's a quote that Goodie posted on the board a few years back from one of Joe Kidd's deleted scenes.  KC saved that old thread... thanks for sending it to me.  :)

 
Quote
Walk a straight line through a cow pasture you gotta step in some cow pies, but you get where you're goin'.
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« Reply #16 on: December 03, 2002, 05:56:25 PM »

Here's a bunch from Bronco Billy:

 
Quote
BRONCO BILLY:  I think every kid in America oughta go to school, at least up to the eighth grade.

KID:  We don't go to school today, Bronco Billy.  It's Saturday.

BRONCO BILLY:  Yeah, well I been ridin' late last night.  A man's brain gets kinda fuzzy when he's been on the range.


 
Quote
BRONCO BILLY:  You should never kill a man unless it's absolutely necessary.


 
Quote
ANTOINETTE:  Are you for real?

BRONCO BILLY:  I'm ... who I want to be.



Quote
BRONCO BILLY:  Girl, you sure are mixed up.



Quote
ANTOINETTE:  You're living in a dream world!  There are no more cowboys and Indians, that's in the past!

BRONCO BILLY:  Ms. Lily, I was raised in a one room tenement in New Jersey.  As a kid, I never even saw a cowboy, much less the wide open spaces.... except when I could scrounge up a quarter for a picture show.  I was a shoe salesman until I was 31 years old.  Deep down in my heart I always wanted to be a cowboy.  Then one day I laid down my shoehorn and swore I'd never live in the city again.  You only live once.  You got to give it your best shot.



Quote
ANTOINETTE:  Don't you find anything about your life bizarre?

BRONCO BILLY:  The only thing strange I find is that you and I haven't made love yet.



Quote
BRONCO BILLY:  Nobody says that about a cowboy.
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« Reply #17 on: December 03, 2002, 05:58:21 PM »

Here's a few from the Which Way films.  (Philo, if I'm leaving out any of your favorites, maybe you could add them to the thread).

From Every Which Way But Loose:

 
Quote
Slightly advanced.


 
Quote
How many times have I told you, I don't want him drinking beer except on Saturday night.



Quote
Well, guess you just keep howling until sometime they howl back.


Quote
TANK MURDOCK:  Looks like you've had a go at it already.  You sure that face won't hurt too much to fight?

PHILO:  I ain't gonna be hitting you with my face.


From Any Which Way You Can:

 
Quote
Right turn, Clyde.



Quote
Handouts are what you get from the government.  A hand up is what you get from friends.



Quote
LYNN:  (Watching incredulously as the Black Widows harden under the tar and crash to the ground)  What are you going to do with them?

PHILO:  Well, we can't leave them here, dogs would come along and piss on them.  Ain't fair to the dogs.



Quote
Clyde, sometimes I think you're not too tightly wrapped.
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« Reply #18 on: December 03, 2002, 06:01:27 PM »

This is gonna be a long post, and it's gonna contain several long passages of dialogue, rather than just one-liners, but... the dialogue I'm about to quote is too great to not be posted in this thread.  So hang on to your seats and enjoy the following quotes from White Hunter, Black Heart:

 
Quote
There's nothing tougher than trying to remember why you chased a dame once you've had her.



Quote
Now you see why I want to go to Africa, kid.  I've got nothing else to lose.  Even if a lion or a buffalo gets me, my last minute will be a happy one.  I'll just think of my creditors back in The States when they find out I've been eaten alive, and it'll all seem worthwhile.



Quote
If there's half as much love in this old gal as there is talk, I may be dead in the morning.



Quote
VERRILL: You're beating the audience over the head, John.  People don't go to see pictures to be lectured to.

WILSON: Tell me, Pete... do you own a percentage of this film?

VERRILL: No.

WILSON: Then why are you so concerned about the damn audience?

VERRILL: Because we're in show business, John.

WILSON: Not me.  And not you, either, when we work together.  You see, we're gods, Pete.  Lousy little gods who control the lives of the people we create.  We sit up in some heavenly place and decide whether they live or die on the merits of what happens to them in reel one, or two or three, etcetera.  And then we decide if they have the right to live, and that's how we arrive at our ending.

VERRILL: Well, that's what you say, John.  But I say I'm a swell god.  I say they should live... because of everything they've gone through together.  They should live because this world doesn't necessarily have to be a hopeless and rotten place, John.  We're not all destined and doomed to die of radium poisoning.  Now I might be completely wrong... but that's what makes me... a swell god.

WILSON: That makes you a flea on an elephant's ass.

VERRILL: Oh, balls to your pessimism!

WILSON: You know something, Pete?   You're never gonna be a good screenwriter, and you know why?

VERRILL: No, John.  Why don't you tell me why?

WILSON: ‘Cause you let 85 million popcorn eaters pull you this way and that way.  To write a movie, you must forget that anyone's ever gonna see it.

Later in that same scene:

 
Quote
WILSON:  I'll die broke in a downtown Los Angeles flophouse and I won't be bitter.  I'll have contributed maybe five, ten, damn good pictures.  They'll name a special Academy Award after me.  And you know something?  All the wrong guys will get it and I'll be in hell laughing my ass off.



Quote
MARGARET: I'm not keen on London.  I had to live there during the war and I got awfully fed up with it.

WILSON: Well I rather enjoyed it during the war.  The people behaved so magnificently.

MARGARET: Well they didn't all behave well.  You probably never left the West End.

WILSON: Not true, not true.  I did a film about the London Blitz.  I was all over town.

MARGARET: You can't have spent much time in Soho, where I lived.

WILSON: Why do you say that, dear?

MARGARET: I thought the people there were just horrid.  There were an awful lot of Jews in that neighborhood.

VERRILL: Mrs. MacGregor...

MARGARET: Margaret.

VERRILL: Margaret.  I must warn you, I'm a Jew.

MARGARET: You're not!

VERRILL: I am.

MARGARET: No!

VERRILL: Yes.

MARGARET: You're pulling my leg!

VERRILL: No, I'm not pulling your leg, Margaret.  I'm a Jew.

MARGARET: Oh, I don't believe you.  (Back to Wilson) I know I shouldn't say this, but that was the one thing about which I felt Hitler was absolutely right.

WILSON: Now, Margaret... the man has just gotten through warning you.

MARGARET: Because the Jews in London were awful.  They ran the black market and they didn't go into the army.  And when they did, they got themselves cushy jobs.  Of course, there were upper-class Jews, but I'm not talking about them.  I'm talking about the kikes in Soho, the foreigners.

VERRILL: Margaret.  Margaret... my grandparents were kikes.  My father and my mother were kikes... and I'm a kike.

WILSON: That's right, dear.

MARGARET: Well, you don't mean to tell me that you're Jewish too?

WILSON: No, absolutely not, ‘cause that would be a lie, and I wouldn't want to lie to you ever.  But, I would like to tell you a little story, though.

MARGARET: Oh I love stories!

WILSON: Well, you mustn't interrupt now, because you're way too beautiful to interrupt people.  When I was in London in the early 40's, I was dining one evening at The Savoy with a rather select group of people.  And sitting next to me was a very beautiful lady, much like yoruself.

MARGARET: Now you're pulling my leg.

WILSON: Now, just listen dear.  While we were dining and the bombs were falling and we were all talking about Hitler and comparing him with Napoleon, and we were all being really brilliant; and then, suddenly, this beautiful lady, she spoke up and said that that was the thing that she didn't mind about Hitler, was the way he was treating the Jews.  Well, we all started arguing with her, of course, though mind you, no one at the table was Jewish.  But, she persisted.  Are you listening, honey?

MARGARET: Mustn't interrupt daddy.

WILSON: That's right.  You're way too beautiful for that.  Anyway, she went on to say that that's how she felt about it.  That if she had her way, she would kill them all... burn them in ovens like Hitler.  We all sat there in silence.  And then, finally, I leaned over to her and I said, "Madam, I have dined with some of the ugliest god damn b*$@hes in my time.  And I have dined with some of the god damnest ugly b*$@hes in this world.  But, you, my dear, are the ugliest b*$@h of them all."  Well, anyway, she got up to leave and she tripped over her chair and fell on the floor, and we all just sat there.  No one raised a hand to help her.  And finally when she picked herself up, I said to her one more time... "You, my dear, are the ugliest god damn b*$@h I have ever dined with."  And do you know what happened?  The very next day she reported me to the American Embassy and they brought me in for reprimand, and then when they investigated it, they found out that she was a German agent and they locked her up.  Isn't that amazing?

MARGARET: Why did you tell me that story?

WILSON: Oh, I don't know.  It wasn't because I thought you were a German agent, honey.  But, I was tempted tonight to say the very same thing to you, I didn't want you to think I'd never said it before.  You ma'am are the..... well, you know the rest.  (Pause) Care for some champagne, honey?

MARGARET: No, thank you.

WILSON: Pete?

MARGARET: Well, it's getting late.  I think I'd better go back to my room.

WILSON: Well, Pete and I will accompany you.

MARGARET: There's no need.  (She runs off)

WILSON:  (Calling after her)  No bother at all.  Goodnight, Margaret.

VERRILL: Sorry, John.  I know you wanted to get laid.

WILSON: Well, that's all right, kid.  You can't help it if you're a kike.



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Pete, I'm gonna take myself a nap.  Please don't wake me unless you're sure we're gonna crash cause ... I wouldn't want to miss something like that.



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You've got to fight when you think it's the right thing to do.  Otherwise you feel like your gut's full of pus.  Even if you get the hell beat out of you.  If you fight, you feel okay about it.
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VERRILL: You're either crazy, or the most egocentric, irresponsible son-of-a-b*$@h that I have ever met.  You're about to blow this whole picture out of your nose, John.  And for what?  To commit a crime.  To kill one of the rarest, most noble creatures that roams the face ot this crummy earth.  And in order to commit this crime, you're willing to forget about all of us and let this whole god damn thing go down the drain.

WILSON: You're wrong, kid.  It's not a crime to kill an elephant.  It's bigger than all that.  It's a sin to kill an elephant.  Do you understand?  It's a sin.  The only sin that you can buy a license and go out to commit.  That's why I want to do it before I do anything else in this world.  Do you understand me?  Of course you don't. How could you?  I don't understand it myself.



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Oh God, this makes it all so worthwhile.



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(In a harsh, broken whisper) Action.
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Matt
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« Reply #19 on: December 03, 2002, 06:06:05 PM »

Originally posted by Christopher

Some great lines from The Outlaw Josey Wales:
 
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JOSEY:  Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?


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JAMIE: Wish we had time to bury them fellows.

JOSEY: To hell with them follows. (Spits tobacco) Buzzards got to eat, same as worms.


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JOSEY: You a bounty hunter?

BOUNTY HUNTER: A man has to do something these days to earn a living.

JOSEY: Dyin' ain't much of a living boy.
« Last Edit: January 06, 2003, 12:55:34 AM by Matt » Logged
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