CEWB Member Starter Packs for sale!

[Matt]

Get your Brendan starter pack here for only $119.99.

Your pack includes:

Nascar approved fashion accessories:



His International Best Seller:



Two dozen NIGHTWING comic books:



A Year's Supply of Poutine:



If anyone wants to buy this starter pack, you'll need to post your own 4 item starter pack for any other CEWB member (be nice - or in the very least, not mean).

And Brendan, since you've been "startered" you get to post a pack too.

[Matt]

I always wanted a beer can necklace and a year's supply of poutine ... and for only $119.99, that's a steal. Poutine alone goes for at least $50 a shot in Nashville.   

So I will buy Brendan's Starter Pack.

It's an investment, I tell ya. If anyone else wants it, the price is now $199.99.

And since I bought the starter pack, I get to pick another unfortunate soul to build their starter pack.

(Yes, I can do this all day, but it would be more fun if I wasn't the ONLY one.)


THE CONAN STARTER PACK:

This Man Cave, complete with the ultimate home gym:



For energy between reps, a month's supply (30 boxes):



One heavily used AMC Eagle SX/4:



And two tickets to Conan's upcoming Seminar Series:



Retail price for this starter pack:  $19,999.  However, because of the Eagle, we're discounting it to $14,999 just to get it out of here.

[Conan]

  That's pretty funny and not too far from the truth.    That Eagle is awesome by the way. and looks almost like my old once except it is more jacked up with different tires.

  Let me see if I can come up with something for Christopher.  I wonder what joke will feature prominently...Hmmm.

[Matt]

As tempting as it was to start with a Christopher starter pack, I feel like I've done enough lately to him, and left it for you. 

Just wait for it... the KC starter pack will be coming soon.

[KC]

[Matt]

Don't worry, KC -- first someone has to buy Conan's starter pack, or he or Brendan needs to post one.

I don't want Conan's starter pack! 





_{Poor Conan. The car isn't THAT bad.}

[Matt]

C'mon, doesn't anyone want the man-cave and car?

Price lowered to $12,999

(We take Monopoly money, you know)

I'm trigger happy to get the next starter pack up.

[Brendan]

I'd have to pass on my own Starter Pack. I don't approve of that attire mainly because I don't like Bud Light or Busch beer. They're so awful that it's offensive.

[Matt]

How about I make you one out of Newcastle Ale bottle caps?

[The Schofield Kid]

C'mon, doesn't anyone want the man-cave and car?

Price lowered to $12,999

(We take Monopoly money, you know)

I'm trigger happy to get the next starter pack up.

If I say, "The Cheque is in the mail" can it be mine? 

[Matt]

YES! Tim gets the Man Cave - the car, the Good n Plenty, and last but not least -- two tickets to Conan's Seminar. Maybe you can meet up with KC. It's in .... Lago (because it's the seminar from hell).

And now you can post a starter pack.

[The Schofield Kid]

Just wait for it... the KC starter pack will be coming soon.

Don't worry, KC -- first someone has to buy Conan's starter pack, or he or Brendan needs to post one.

I'm trigger happy to get the next starter pack up.

That's the only reason I forked out the cash or cheque in this case to see what you'd come up with for KC.

[Matt]

   I always have a lot of ideas of with to do with KC. But, I can only post one if I buy one. So let's see what you put up for sale.

[The Schofield Kid]

Not sure if I'm as imaginative as Matt but here goes.

THE RICHARD EARL STARTER PACK

For $199 you get a DVD of that unforgettable night when the nation tuned in to see Richard and Holden debate the merits or lack of, the film, Roadhouse!!



You also get one years supply of his favourite dessert. Fried Ice Cream. Yum, I can hear you say.



Also, a truck load of Texan Beeves. You can use them as punching bags or have yourself an old fashion BBQ, Texas Style!!



And if you're lucky enough to be the first to buy this starter pack, we'll throw in the controversial autobiography from Richard which is still banned in 57 countries and for legal reasons we can't show you the book cover but only a photo of who got Richard into more trouble than he was expecting going behind the scenes and the shower curtain of the Dallas Cheergirls.

[Matt]

SK, I really want this starter pack. Not just because I missed the Great Debate, and it looks interesting (I'm with Richard Earl on this one), but because I want to post KC's starter pack.

There's one problem....

The Texas Beeves.... (beeves?)

I'll take them Texan BBQ style if you'll arrange to have someone package them real nice for me with the cellophane wrapper so I don't have to think of them hanging by their feet. If they're ready to grill, and I can't distinguish any body parts, I'll buy the starter pack!

If not, the world will have to wait for KC's starter pack (I'm sure SHE won't mind).

[The Schofield Kid]

The Texas Beeves.... (beeves?)

In Rawhide the cattle were sometimes referred to as beeves. Not sure if I spelt it correctly. I was going to say steers but I kept thinking of that quote from Full Metal Jacket about steers and .......

[Matt]

Okay, I get it... it's the plural of beef. Makes sense.   

I'll buy the Richard Earl starter pack!  But, I'm pitching in an extra $200 for a butcher to do the ugly work for me.

(Oh, and since I bought it first, I get the cheerleaders!)


That means..... next up on the CEWB Starter Pack block is ....

[Matt]

The KC Starter Pack:

1)  You'll need your own KC to Standard U.S. English Dictionary.



For an additional $399, you can choose to have it bound in a Grolieresque binding in brown calf with red and dark brown leather inlay strapwork with gilt pointillé and tooling on covers and spine. Decorative gilt center ornament on covers. Gilt decorative rolls on turn-ins. Gauffered edges:




2)  For when the Yankees are playing badly:



This is the deluxe model, that has the "Matt Switch".  When in the "on" position, Yankee says "oh yeah, baby" with each punch.


3)  1 box of Crispbreads and 1 serving of White Asparagus soup. 






4)  And of course a copy of her book Clint Eastwood: Interviews
 



(PS, is that a new cover?)


This starter pack is $189.99, and only $588 with the Grolieresque binding.

[KC]

It's a bargain. Those gauffered edges alone would probably set you back $500 or so.

(PS, is that a new cover?)

It's a new edition. Where have you been?

[Richard Earl]

A day of eating some Texas smoked brisket followed by fried ice cream while watching the Dallas Cowboy game and then Roadhouse sounds like a great day! Good job SK! I had forgotten about the debate between myself and Holden and now remember the feeling of blood rushing through my skull.