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Author Topic: Favorite Eastwood Quotes (Reference Thread)  (Read 36520 times)
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« Reply #20 on: January 14, 2016, 05:49:34 PM »


SHOCKLEY: On a scale of ten, I'd have to give her a two. And that's only because I've never seen a one before.

SHOCKLEY: You see, we've got a problem, you and me. We don't like each other much, but we have to take a trip together. Now you can come along peacefully or you can be a pain in the ass. But I'm warning you, you mess around and I'll put the cuffs on you. You talk dirty, I gag you. If you run, I'll shoot you. My name's Shockley, and we've got a plane to catch. Now let's go.

SHOCKLEY: What's your detail?

CONSTABLE: You know you're compounding your problem, kidnapping an officer of the law, don't you?

SHOCKLEY: (Pointing gun closer to his face) I said what's your detail, cowboy?

SHOCKLEY: Alright, you mother-jumpers, this is a bust! Alright, everybody up against their bike. Ball's in your pockets. Come on! Come on! (A biker jumps Shockley, and Shockley knocks him down and shoots the gas tank of his bike.)

BIKER 1: Son of a b*[email protected]!

SHOCKLEY: The next turkey who tries that, I'm gonna shoot him, stuff him and stick an apple in his ass. Any takers? You? You? (pointing gun at bikers) You? You?

BIKER 1: Hey man, you can't do this without a warrant.

SHOCKLEY: The man says I need a warrant, huh?

BIKERS: Yeah, that's right.

SHOCKLEY: Well, the man don't know jack $#!t! Now anybody here know more about the law than me? Any lawyers here? Any lawyers want to tell me why I don't need a warrant?

BIKER 1: Hey man, why don't you get off our case.

SHOCKLEY: You with the fu<king hair! You look smart. Why don't you tell me why I'm entitled to come in here anytime I please. (Pause) Reasonable what?

BIKER 2: Reasonable suspicion?

SHOCKLEY: Exactly! Reasonable suspicion. I can go anywhere I please if I have reasonable suspicion. Now if I have suspicion a felony's been committed, I can just walk right in here anytime I feel like it because I've got this badge, I got this gun, and I got the love of Jesus right here in my pretty, green eyes.

BIKER 1: Hey man, this is our choppers.

SHOCKLEY: (Pointing gun at him) This is my gun, Clyde.

SHOCKLEY: Tell him I know why he picked me for the job. Tell him he was wrong. Tell him I'm coming for him and I'm gonna nail his ass to the wall.

MALLY: You don't even know if I'm good in bed or not.

SHOCKLEY: I'll just take that on faith.

SHOCKLEY: Nag, nag, nag!

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« Reply #21 on: January 14, 2016, 05:53:42 PM »


PHILO: Slightly advanced.

PHILO: How many times have I told you, I don't want him drinking beer except on Saturday night.

PHILO: Well, guess you just keep howling until sometime they howl back.

TANK MURDOCK: Looks like you've had a go at it already. You sure that face won't hurt too much to fight?

PHILO: I ain't gonna be hitting you with my face.

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« Reply #22 on: January 14, 2016, 06:26:32 PM »


WOLF: I'm looking for a new punk.

MORRIS: Good luck.

MORRIS: Hey guard, this spoon looks like it's been sticking in someone's ass, any chance of me getting a new one?

MORRIS: Tell me something, you through killing white guys?


MORRIS: Oh, I don't know, I just figured maybe next time I wouldn't turn my back on you.

GUARD: I'm assigning you a permanent job. Carpentry shop. It's a paying job.

MORRIS: How much?

GUARD: Fifteen cents an hour.

MORRIS: Well I always knew crime would pay.

CHARLEY BUTTS: I turned thirty-five today. Some birthday. When's your birthday?

MORRIS: I don't know.

BUTTS: Geez, what kind of childhood did you have?

MORRIS: Short.

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« Reply #23 on: January 14, 2016, 06:29:57 PM »


BRONCO BILLY: I think every kid in America oughta go to school, at least up to the eighth grade.

KID: We don't go to school today, Bronco Billy. It's Saturday.

BRONCO BILLY: Yeah, well I been ridin' late last night. A man's brain gets kinda fuzzy when he's been on the range.

BRONCO BILLY: You should never kill a man unless it's absolutely necessary.

1ST COWBOY:   Wait a minute, I've had enough!

BRONCO BILLY:   Like hell you have!

2nd COWBOY:   Don't kill me! Don't!

BRONCO BILLY:   Killing's too good for you!

ANTOINETTE: Are you for real?

BRONCO BILLY: I'm ... who I want to be.

BRONCO BILLY: Girl, you sure are mixed up.

ANTOINETTE: You're living in a dream world! There are no more cowboys and Indians, that's in the past!

BRONCO BILLY: Ms. Lily, I was raised in a one room tenement in New Jersey. As a kid, I never even saw a cowboy, much less the wide open spaces.... except when I could scrounge up a quarter for a picture show. I was a shoe salesman until I was 31 years old. Deep down in my heart I always wanted to be a cowboy. Then one day I laid down my shoehorn and swore I'd never live in the city again. You only live once. You got to give it your best shot.

ANTOINETTE: Don't you find anything about your life bizarre?

BRONCO BILLY: The only thing strange I find is that you and I haven't made love yet.

BRONCO BILLY: Nobody says that about a cowboy.

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« Reply #24 on: January 14, 2016, 06:32:34 PM »


PHILO: Right turn, Clyde.

PHILO: Handouts are what you get from the government. A hand up is what you get from friends.

LYNN: What are you going to do with them?

PHILO: Well, we can't leave them here, dogs would come along and piss on them. Ain't fair to the dogs.

PHILO: Clyde, sometimes I think you're not too tightly wrapped.

JACK WILSON: I work behind a desk.

PHILO: You work behind it, or you carry it around?

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« Reply #25 on: January 14, 2016, 06:35:10 PM »


GANT: I'm not Air Force anymore. You go back there and tell them that.

GANT: You guys are amazing, you know?

GANT: What you're saying, then, is that you've already picked a volunteer, right?

GANT: There's not a one of you who think I have a chance in the world of pulling this off, is there?

KGB AGENT #1: Your papers are not in order.

GANT: He said my papers weren't in order.

KGB AGENT #2: Your papers appear to be in order.

GANT: This Boris Glazunov, does he work for the cause, too?

PAVEL: Boris Glazunov stays home today. You will take his place.

GANT: You mean like Sprague did? Does he die like Sprague?

PAVEL: Gant, can you fly that plane? Really fly it?

GANT: Yeah, I can fly it. I'm the best there is.

GANT: Supposing I get to lift-off and everything goes well, what happens to you?

BARANOVICH: It doesn't matter.

GANT: What do you mean "it doesn't matter"? I don't understand why you're all so willing to die.

BARANOVICH: I don't expect you to understand.

GANT: Don't you resent those people in London ordering your death like this?

BARANOVICH: Mr. Gant, you're an American. You're a free man. I'm not. There's a difference. If I resent the men in London who are ordering me to die, then it is a small thing when compared to my resentment of the KGB.

GANT: Well, I'm not gonna walk back!

FIRST SECRETARY: Are you enjoying your ride Mr. Gant? Like our new toy?

GANT: It could be improved.

GANT: Aren't you gonna threaten me or something?

GANT: Simple.

SEERBACKER: Well, you took long enough.

GANT: Check the tires and the windshield, will ya?

SEERBACKER: You will be outta here, won't you?

GANT: So fast, you can't believe it.

GANT: Let's see what this baby can do.

(And one non-Eastwood quote that needs to be included:)

BARANOVICH: You must think in Russian.

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« Reply #26 on: January 14, 2016, 06:39:01 PM »


VIRGIL: I thought you said you didn't have any money.

RED: Are you kidding? I got money ten miles up a bull's ass. Course, I gotta find that bull to get it.

JIM BOB: I seen enough chicken $#!t in my life to know when I see it.

RED: When was the last time you saw chicken $#!t, Jim Bob? When you were shaving this morning?

RED: It's a sad state when a man can't buy a woman for his own boy.

ARNSPRINGER: I'm disappointed in you, Red, questioning my honesty like this. Is that what you're doing? Calling me a liar and a cheat?

RED: I'm calling you a liar and a cheat and a fat, porky son-of-a-b*[email protected] Now you wanna hear any more, I've got other things I can think up for you.

RED: I don't think I want to spend two days in this town. Rather be in Philadelphia.

WHIT: Uncle Red, don't you think you have a problem with your drinking?

RED: Only when I can't get it.

WHIT: I mean, don't you think you might need some help with your drinking?

RED: No, I do quite well all by myself.

WHIT: Aren't there doctors that...

RED: Look, Hoss... if you want to be my sidekick and chauffeur, that's fine. But if I want a nursemaid and a wife to b*[email protected] at me, I'll go out and get one.

WHIT: Uncle Red, was there ever anyone you wanted to marry?

RED: Marry? Yeah I guess there was, a few years back.

WHIT: Who was she?

RED: A girl I knew out in California. Mary Simms was the name.

WHIT: Well, why didn't you? Marry her, I mean.

RED: She was married already. A farmer married her when she was fourteen years old and she had two kids. Wasn't much to look at really. Just a rawboned Okie girl. But she was a fine, decent, faithful woman. Least till I met her.

WHIT: Well, what happened?

RED: She ran off with me. I told her I loved her just to get to her. I knew it was a lie, I thought she figured it was a lie too, but she took me serious. She told me she loved me too... and she meant it. Well, we bummed around the country, broke most of the time. Even worked the fruit harvest for a while there. Lived in some flophouses and migrant labor shacks. It was all right. No, it was more than all right. I was happier than I think I've ever been before in my life, either before or since.

WHIT: Well, what happened?

RED: Oh, I got tired of it, I guess. I started wondering what I was doing with this rawboned Okie girl. I started thinking about all the women that were hanging around in the bars that I worked in. I told her I thought we made a mistake. I told her to get a place of her own. I gave her all the money I had so she could get one. She threw the money in my face. Said she didn't want any part of me or my money. Took off and went back to her husband.

WHIT: And you? What'd you do?

RED: I got drunk and started feeling sorry for myself, as usual. And... I got to thinking what a no-good bastard I was; what a decent girl Mary was. I got to thinking maybe I loved her all along. Maybe I loved her all this time and just never realized it until ... I lost her.

WHIT: Didn't you try to find her?

RED: Yeah. I heard she was pregnant before she left me and so I went on down to Brawley where she was from and I tried to see her. But before I could see her, I ran into her husband and his brother... he was a big guy. And they beat me up pretty bad at the parking lot. Husband said Mary didn't want to see me no more, if I ever tried to see her again, he'd break my fingers and I'd never play the guitar again. So I left town.

WHIT: Did she have her baby?

RED: Yeah, I heard she did. A little girl.

WHIT: And you never tried to see her? The little girl?

RED: No. No, she's better off not knowing about me. Mary was right to go back to her husband. What the hell did I have to offer a kid? Just honkytonks and flophouses. That's the life of a country singer, Hoss. Sound good to you?

WHIT: It don't sound too hot when you put it like that, but it sure beats picking cotton and living in a sharecropper's shack.

RED: Maybe you're right, boy. Maybe you're right. Maybe if I get this break on the Opry we won't have to stay in any flophouses or sharecropper's shacks ever again.

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« Reply #27 on: January 14, 2016, 06:43:00 PM »


CALLAHAN: Go ahead, make my day.

CALLAHAN: Listen, punk... to me you ain't nothing but dog $#!t, you understand? And a lot of things can happen to dog $#!t. It can be scraped up with a shovel off the ground, it can dry up and blow away in the wind, or it can be stepped on and squashed. So take my advice and be careful where the dog $#!ts ya.

CALLAHAN: We're not just gonna let you walk outta here.

ROBBER: Who's we, sucker?

CALLAHAN: Smith, Wesson, and me.

DETECTIVE: Hey, don't tell me this $#!t's getting to you. Not Harry Callahan. Say it ain't so.

CALLAHAN: No, this stuff isn't getting to me, the shootings, the knifings, the beatings, old ladies being bashed in the head for their social security checks, teachers being thrown out of a fourth floor window because they don't give A's. That doesn't bother me a bit.

DETECTIVE: Come on Harry, take it easy.

CALLAHAN: Or this job either, having to wade through the scum of this city, being swept away by bigger and bigger waves of corruption, apathy and red tape. No, that doesn't bother me. But you know what does bother me?


CALLAHAN: You know what makes me really sick to my stomach?


CALLAHAN: It's watching you stuff your face with those hot dogs. Nobody... I mean NOBODY puts ketchup on a hot dog.

DETECTIVE: What the hell are you talking about?

CALLAHAN: I'm talking about having our fingers in the holes and the whole damn dike's crumbling around us.


CALLAHAN: You're a legend in your own mind.

CALLAHAN: Not bad.

HORACE: Not bad, my ass. You've got to strain the remains for the fingerprints.

CALLAHAN: Well this is the .44 Magnum Auto-Mag. It holds a 300-grain cartridge. And if properly used, it can remove the fingerprints.

RAY PARKINS: Hi cutie. Wanna buy me a drink?

CALLAHAN: Not today.

RAY PARKINS: Come on, sailor. I know there's some question you want to ask me. Go ahead, you might get lucky.

CALLAHAN: Only with humans.

CALLAHAN: Why don't you boys go suck some fish heads, huh?

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« Reply #28 on: January 14, 2016, 06:44:15 PM »


MURPHY: Okay, I'll come over and buff your body and bring a nice glow to your cheeks.

SPEER: And I'll bring a nice foot to your ass.

SPEER: How about a fast game of Sleeper?

MAN: Never heard of it.

SPEER: Well it's simple. You go ahead and make your shot, and I put you to sleep.

SPEER: I abhor violence.

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« Reply #29 on: January 14, 2016, 06:47:05 PM »


PENNY: What's a hard-on, Daddy? I heard Amanda say it, but she won't tell me what it means.

WES: Well, Darling... it's -- it's a -- when a man is attracted to a woman... he, uhhh... likes her. Understand?


WES: Well, he likes her in a -- in a certain way.


WES: Well, sweetheart, male bears like... female bears, and male bees like... female bees and occasionally they get together and...

AMANDA: Dad? Forget it.

BECKY: What's your name?

WES: Block.

BECKY: You're hangin' out with the wrong kind of people, Block.

WES: What kind would you suggest I hang out with?

BECKY: Someone who's more... up your alley.

WES: Maybe I'll take you up on that sometime.

BECKY: And do what?

WES: Take you... bowling.

BECKY: I don't like bowling.

WES: Neither do I.

BERYL: I'll bet you were about to knock.

WES: Actually, I was just gonna hang out here and be tacky.

WES: Wanna go hoist some oysters?

BERYL: You didn't have to bring me here to tell me that.

WES: No.

BERYL: So why did you?

WES: Well I saw you working out in that gym and I was wondering what you'd be like.

BERYL: Why the, uh... sudden interest?

WES: I was wondering if you came alone.

BERYL: What else were you wondering?

WES: You really want to know?

BERYL: Yeah.

WES: What it would be like to lick the sweat off your body.

BERYL: Do you... do you always say exactly what's on your mind?

WES: You don't like it?

BERYL: Could be a little more subtle.

WES: What I said?

BERYL: More the way you said it.

WES: How would you like me to say it?

BERYL: As if you're not saying it to somebody every night.

WES: What else would you like?

BERYL: I'd like to find out what's underneath the front you put on.

WES: Maybe you wouldn't like what you'd find.

BERYL: Maybe you're scared I would.

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« Reply #30 on: January 14, 2016, 06:52:31 PM »


PREACHER: There's nothing like a nice piece of hickory.

PREACHER: If you're waiting for a woman to make up her mind, you may have a long wait.

PREACHER: There's plain few problems can't be solved with a little sweat and hard work.

PREACHER: How much is it worth to have a clear conscience?

PREACHER: A man alone is easy prey.

PREACHER: Are you through?

PREACHER: Long walk.

PREACHER: Sarah.... close the door.

PREACHER: Yeah, well, the spirit ain't worth spit without a little exercise.

COY LaHOOD: Do you imbibe, Reverend?

PREACHER: Only after nine in the morning.

PREACHER: I think it's best to . . . practice loving for a while before you think about the other.

PREACHER: Good gun for buffalo. The problem is there aren't any hereabouts.

HULL: I'm going with you.

PREACHER: No buffalo where I'm going either.

HULL: I know.

PREACHER: Even with that rifle you wouldn't stand much of a chance.

HULL: It's for me to decide, ain't it?

PREACHER: Suit yourself.

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« Reply #31 on: January 14, 2016, 06:58:26 PM »


PRISONER: I don’t like soldier boys.

HIGHWAY: Say what?

PRISONER: If you want to pop that puppy's can, you don’t have to grease him so hard, jar head.

HIGHWAY: Sounds like you’re a man of experience.

PRISONER: What the [email protected]#k's that suppose to mean, grunt $#!t?

HIGHWAY: It means be advised, I’m mean nasty and tired. I eat constintino wire and piss napalm, and I can put a round through a flea's ass at 200 meters. So you go and hump somebody else’s leg, mutt face, before I push yours in.

PRISONER: Ain’t going to be so smart with your balls stuffed in your mouth, jar head!

HIGHWAY: Hang on to this, boy. I think war's just been declared.

HIGHWAY: If I was half as ugly as you, Sergeant Major, I'd be a poster boy for a prophylactic!

HIGHWAY: (After firing at his troops) This is the AK-47 assault rifle, the preferred weapon of your enemy. It makes a distinctive sound when fired at you. So remember it.

STITCH: This babe is wack. She doesn't know what's 12" long and white. Nothing! (Laughs) Hey man, no offense, I'm just working on my routine.

GUNNY: I'll tell you what's black and bleeding if it don't shut its face.

GUNNY: This doesn't mean we're gonna be swapping spit in the shower.

GUNNY: You improvise. You adapt. You overcome.

GUNNY: The Marines are looking for a few good men. Unfortunately, you ain't it.

COL. MEYERS: What's your assessment of this alert?

GUNNY: It's a cluster [email protected]#k.

COL. MEYERS: Say again?

GUNNY: Marines are fighting men, sir. They shouldn't be sitting around on their sorry asses filling out request forms for equipment they should already have.

GUNNY: You can rob me. You can starve me and you can beat me and you can kill me. Just don't bore me.

COP: You're going to pay every dollar of that fine. I don't give no service man's discount!

GUNNY: Too bad, your old lady does.

GUNNY: When you get in there, let them know who you are so no friendlies get hurt.

STITCH: Hello happenin' hostages. I'm Stitch, Mr. Funkadelic.

GUNNY: Try U.S. Marine, !%@#!%.

FRAGETTI: Don't let him die, Gunny.

GUNNY: That's not up to me.

GUNNY: Just because we're holding hands doesn't mean we're gonna take warm showers to the wee hours of the morning, you hear me?

STITCH: Sucker, I thought you was dead.

GUNNY: Wishful thinking.

POWERS: Just what the hell do you think you were doing?

GUNNY: Just enjoying the view, sir.

POWERS: Well, you disobeyed a direct order. I told you to stay in contact and not to take this hill without me. Get on your feet, Highway!

GUNNY: With all due respect, sir, you're beginning to bore the hell out of me.

GUNNY: Semper Fi!

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« Reply #32 on: January 17, 2016, 12:05:31 PM »


CALLAHAN: Opinions are like @ssholes. Everybody has one.

CALLAHAN: I'm not some dog and pony act.

CALLAHAN: You have any kids, Lieutenant?


CALLAHAN: Lucky for them.

CALLAHAN: You forgot your fortune cookie.

PUNK: What?!

CALLAHAN: It says... you're $#!t out of luck.

CALLAHAN: I don't like your list, Swan. I don't like being on it.

SWAN: That-that's what this is really all about, isn't it? Well, if you've got a charge to make--

CALLAHAN: Maybe I'll start my own dead pool and put you on it.

SWAN: Are you threatening me?

CALLAHAN: If you want to play the game, you'd better know the rules, Love.

CALLAHAN: You know the trouble with you, Janero, is you have too much time on your hands. What you need is a job.

JANERO: A what?

CALLAHAN: A job! I'm gonna give you a job being a postman, understand? And it's gonna be your job to make sure the mail gets through. See that gorilla down there? That's Butcher Hicks and he's killed three men. Know how he did it? He tore them apart with his teeth. Didn't even find all the pieces. You might say he has an unhealthy appetite.

JANERO: So what.

CALLAHAN: So Hicks there is my new pen pal. I'm gonna be sending him a letter once a week and I'm gonna be telling him how I'm gonna be looking in on his sick mother and how I'm trying to get him special privileges here in the prison. And you know what's the interesting part? The interesting part is that if anything happens to me and Hicks doesn't get his letter, he's gonna be really pissed off and he's gonna come down here and see you because you're the mailman. In fact, he'll probably come down here to this post office and cancel your ass like a stamp. So you'd better ensure prompt, courteous delivery and pray that nothing happens to me.

CALLAHAN: Don't fu<k with me buddy or I'll kick your ass so hard you'll have to unbutton your collar to sh*t.

CALLAHAN: Oh, you see that dirtbag I was talking to down there. He says that smoking can cause cancer and anyone that smokes as much as you do is one dumb son-of-a-b*tch.

CALLAHAN: You're out of bullets, and you know what that means? You're sh*t out of luck.

CAPT. DONNELLY: Where's Rook?

CALLAHAN: He's hanging out back there.

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« Reply #33 on: January 17, 2016, 12:08:23 PM »


NOWAK: Too much raw dude for ya, huh babe? Well I can dig it. If my life were a movie, there'd be a sign on it saying "Caution, some scenes too intense for younger viewers."

NOWAK: Didn't anyone ever tell you you shouldn't mess with a man's vehicles?

NOWAK: I've got a firm policy on gun control. If there's a gun around, I want to be the one controlling it.

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« Reply #34 on: January 17, 2016, 12:10:12 PM »


WILSON: There's nothing tougher than trying to remember why you chased a dame once you've had her.

WILSON: Now you see why I want to go to Africa, kid. I've got nothing else to lose. Even if a lion or a buffalo gets me, my last minute will be a happy one. I'll just think of my creditors back in the States when they find out I've been eaten alive, and it'll all seem worthwhile.

WILSON: If there's half as much love in this old gal as there is talk, I may be dead in the morning.

VERRILL: You're beating the audience over the head, John. People don't go to see pictures to be lectured to.

WILSON: Tell me, Pete... do you own a percentage of this film?


WILSON: Then why are you so concerned about the damn audience?

VERRILL: Because we're in show business, John.

WILSON: Not me. And not you, either, when we work together. You see, we're gods, Pete. Lousy little gods who control the lives of the people we create. We sit up in some heavenly place and decide whether they live or die on the merits of what happens to them in reel one, or two or three, etcetera. And then we decide if they have the right to live, and that's how we arrive at our ending.

VERRILL: Well, that's what you say, John. But I say I'm a swell god. I say they should live... because of everything they've gone through together. They should live because this world doesn't necessarily have to be a hopeless and rotten place, John. We're not all destined and doomed to die of radium poisoning. Now I might be completely wrong... but that's what makes me... a swell god.

WILSON: That makes you a flea on an elephant's ass.

VERRILL: Oh, balls to your pessimism!

WILSON: You know something, Pete? You're never gonna be a good screenwriter, and you know why?

VERRILL: No, John. Why don't you tell me why?

WILSON: ‘Cause you let 85 million popcorn eaters pull you this way and that way. To write a movie, you must forget that anyone's ever gonna see it.

(Later in that same scene:)

WILSON: I'll die broke in a downtown Los Angeles flophouse and I won't be bitter. I'll have contributed maybe five, ten, damn good pictures. They'll name a special Academy Award after me. And you know something? All the wrong guys will get it and I'll be in hell laughing my ass off.

MARGARET: I'm not keen on London. I had to live there during the war and I got awfully fed up with it.

WILSON: Well I rather enjoyed it during the war. The people behaved so magnificently.

MARGARET: Well they didn't all behave well. You probably never left the West End.

WILSON: Not true, not true. I did a film about the London Blitz. I was all over town.

MARGARET: You can't have spent much time in Soho, where I lived.

WILSON: Why do you say that, dear?

MARGARET: I thought the people there were just horrid. There were an awful lot of Jews in that neighborhood.

VERRILL: Mrs. MacGregor...

MARGARET: Margaret.

VERRILL: Margaret. I must warn you, I'm a Jew.

MARGARET: You're not!




MARGARET: You're pulling my leg!

VERRILL: No, I'm not pulling your leg, Margaret. I'm a Jew.

MARGARET: Oh, I don't believe you. (Back to Wilson) I know I shouldn't say this, but that was the one thing about which I felt Hitler was absolutely right.

WILSON: Now, Margaret... the man has just gotten through warning you.

MARGARET: Because the Jews in London were awful. They ran the black market and they didn't go into the army. And when they did, they got themselves cushy jobs. Of course, there were upper-class Jews, but I'm not talking about them. I'm talking about the kikes in Soho, the foreigners.

VERRILL: Margaret. Margaret... my grandparents were kikes. My father and my mother were kikes... and I'm a kike.

WILSON: That's right, dear.

MARGARET: Well, you don't mean to tell me that you're Jewish too?

WILSON: No, absolutely not, ‘cause that would be a lie, and I wouldn't want to lie to you ever. But, I would like to tell you a little story, though.

MARGARET: Oh I love stories!

WILSON: Well, you mustn't interrupt now, because you're way too beautiful to interrupt people. When I was in London in the early 40's, I was dining one evening at The Savoy with a rather select group of people. And sitting next to me was a very beautiful lady, much like yoruself.

MARGARET: Now you're pulling my leg.

WILSON: Now, just listen dear. While we were dining and the bombs were falling and we were all talking about Hitler and comparing him with Napoleon, and we were all being really brilliant; and then, suddenly, this beautiful lady, she spoke up and said that that was the thing that she didn't mind about Hitler, was the way he was treating the Jews. Well, we all started arguing with her, of course, though mind you, no one at the table was Jewish. But, she persisted. Are you listening, honey?

MARGARET: Mustn't interrupt daddy.

WILSON: That's right. You're way too beautiful for that. Anyway, she went on to say that that's how she felt about it. That if she had her way, she would kill them all... burn them in ovens like Hitler. We all sat there in silence. And then, finally, I leaned over to her and I said, "Madam, I have dined with some of the ugliest god damn b*[email protected] in my time. And I have dined with some of the god damnest ugly b*[email protected] in this world. But, you, my dear, are the ugliest b*[email protected] of them all." Well, anyway, she got up to leave and she tripped over her chair and fell on the floor, and we all just sat there. No one raised a hand to help her. And finally when she picked herself up, I said to her one more time... "You, my dear, are the ugliest god damn b*[email protected] I have ever dined with." And do you know what happened? The very next day she reported me to the American Embassy and they brought me in for reprimand, and then when they investigated it, they found out that she was a German agent and they locked her up. Isn't that amazing?

MARGARET: Why did you tell me that story?

WILSON: Oh, I don't know. It wasn't because I thought you were a German agent, honey. But, I was tempted tonight to say the very same thing to you, I didn't want you to think I'd never said it before. You ma'am are the..... well, you know the rest. (Pause) Care for some champagne, honey?

MARGARET: No, thank you.


MARGARET: Well, it's getting late. I think I'd better go back to my room.

WILSON: Well, Pete and I will accompany you.

MARGARET: There's no need. (She runs off)

WILSON: (Calling after her) No bother at all. Goodnight, Margaret.

VERRILL: Sorry, John. I know you wanted to get laid.

WILSON: Well, that's all right, kid. You can't help it if you're a kike.

WILSON: Pete, I'm gonna take myself a nap. Please don't wake me unless you're sure we're gonna crash cause ... I wouldn't want to miss something like that.

WILSON: You've got to fight when you think it's the right thing to do. Otherwise you feel like your gut's full of pus. Even if you get the hell beat out of you. If you fight, you feel okay about it.

VERRILL: You're either crazy, or the most egocentric, irresponsible son-of-a-b*[email protected] that I have ever met. You're about to blow this whole picture out of your nose, John. And for what? To commit a crime. To kill one of the rarest, most noble creatures that roams the face of this crummy earth. And in order to commit this crime, you're willing to forget about all of us and let this whole god damn thing go down the drain.

WILSON: You're wrong, kid. It's not a crime to kill an elephant. It's bigger than all that. It's a sin to kill an elephant. Do you understand? It's a sin. The only sin that you can buy a license and go out to commit. That's why I want to do it before I do anything else in this world. Do you understand me? Of course you don't. How could you? I don't understand it myself.

WILSON: Oh God, this makes it all so worthwhile.

WILSON: (In a harsh, broken whisper) Action.

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« Reply #35 on: January 17, 2016, 12:20:39 PM »


PULOVSKI: You want to know what a real criminal is, Ackerman? It's the son of a b*[email protected] who painted this car, that's who... Can you imagine defacing a work of art like this with a color like that? The guy ought to have his ass removed.

REPORTER: This is auto theft detective Nick Pulovski. Detective, you seem to have gone very much out of your way to make sure we were here for these raids.

PULOVSKI: Well that's right, ma'am. I realize that homicides and splashy robberies get most of the headlines, but it's about time this sort of crime get the attention it deserves. Now it's impossible to make a real dent, but it is possible to hurt the individual @#!holes who are [email protected]#king it up for everyone. Now I happen to know of a prick that's responsible for the whole [email protected]#king operation and that son of a b*[email protected] is hurting out there and I'm [email protected]#king liking it.

PULOVSKI: If you want a guarantee, buy a toaster.

ACKERMAN: You think I like dragging around after you all day? I [email protected]#king hate it! And I hate the way you drive, and I hate your stinking whiskey breath.

PULOVSKI: Well I hate your uptight, regulation-spouting boyscout horsesh*t. And I hate the little [email protected]#king creases in your pants. And I hate these [email protected]#king donuts... these fruitcake little ones with the god damn pinky $#!t on top. Nobody eats that sh*t.

ACKERMAN: While you were up there with what's-her-name sitting on your face...

PULOVSKI: She did not sit on my face.

PULOVSKI: There's got to be a hundred reasons why I don't blow you away. Right now I can't think of one.

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« Reply #36 on: January 17, 2016, 12:25:33 PM »


LITTLE BILL: I don't deserve this ... to die like this. I was building a house!

MUNNY: Deserve's got nothin' to do with it!

MUNNY: It's a hell of a thing, killin' a man. You take away all he's got, and all he's ever gonna have.

THE KID: Yeah, well I guess they had it comin'.

MUNNY: We all have it coming, kid.

MUNNY: That's right ... I've killed women and children. Killed just about everything that walks or crawls at one time or another. And I'm here to kill you, Little Bill, for what you did to Ned.

MUNNY: Any man don't want to get killed, better clear on out the back.

MUNNY: You'd better bury Ned right! You'd better not cut up nor otherwise harm no whores! Or I'll come back and kill every one of you sons of b*[email protected]

LITTLE BILL: Well, sir, you are a cowardly son of a b*[email protected] You just shot an unarmed man!

MUNNY: Well, he shoulda armed himself, if he's gonna decorate his saloon with my friend.

MUNNY: I ain't like that no more, Kid. It was whiskey done it as much as anything else. I ain't had a drop in over ten years. My wife, she cured me of that. Cured me of drink and wickedness.

MUNNY:  Ain't hardly been in the saddle myself in a while. The horse is getting even with me for the sins of my youth. In my youth, before I met your dear, departed ma, I used to be weak and given to mistreatin' animals. This horse and those hogs over there are gettin' even with me for the cruelty that I inflicted. I used to be able to cuss and whip a horse like this. But your ma, rest her soul, showed me the error of my ways.

MUNNY: I'm just a fellow now. I ain't no different than anyone else... no more.

BEAUCHAMP: Who'd you kill first?


BEAUCHAMP: When confronted by superior numbers, an experienced gunfighter will always fire on the best shot first.

MUNNY: Is that so?

BEAUCHAMP: Yeah. Little Bill told me that, and you probably killed him first, didn't you?

MUNNY: I was lucky in the order. But I've always been lucky when it comes to killing folks.

BEAUCHAMP:  That's all. Who was next? It was Clyde, right? You must have killed Clyde. No, it could have been deputy Andy, or... or....

MUNNY: All I can tell you is who's gonna be last.

MUNNY: I seen him, Ned. I seen the Angel of Death. I seen the river, Ned. H-He's got snake eyes.

NED: Who, Will? Who's got snake eyes?

MUNNY: The Angel of Death. Oh, Ned ... oh, Ned. I'm scared of dying!

NED: Easy, partner. Easy.

MUNNY: I seen Claudia, too.

NED: Well, that's good, Will, that's good you saw Claudia, ain't it?

MUNNY: Her face was all covered with worms ... Oh, Ned, I'm scared. I ... I'm ... I'm dying. You won't ... No, don't tell nobody... Don't tell my kids ... none of the things I done ... You hear me?

NED: All right, Will.

THE SCHOFIELD KID: $#!t. I thought they was gonna get us. I was even scared, a little. Just for a minute. Was you ever scared in them days?

MUNNY: I can't remember. I was drunk, most of the time.

LITTLE BILL: I'll see you in Hell, William Munny.

MUNNY: Yeah ...

MUNNY: Whoa! Whoa, God damn! You no good pig fu<king whore! Whoa! Sorry old horse!

MUNNY: All right now, I'm comin' out. Any man I see out there, I'm gonna kill 'im. Any sonofab*[email protected] takes a shot at me, I'm not only gonna kill him, I'm gonna kill his wife, all his friends. Burn his damn house down. Nobody better shoot.

THE SCHOFIELD KID: Like I was sayin' you don't look like no meaner than hell cold-blooded damn killer.

MUNNY: Maybe I ain't.

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« Reply #37 on: January 17, 2016, 12:33:59 PM »


FRANK HORRIGAN: The secretaries get prettier and prettier around here.

LILLY RAINES: Hmm, and the field agents get older and older.

LILLY: What are you looking at?

FRANK: I was just wondering where you hide your fire arm... Don't tell me, let me guess.

FRANK: I'll bet you that brown pigeon down there flies off before the white one.

LILLY: How do you know?

FRANK: I know things about pigeons, Lilly.

LEARY: Do you really have the guts to take a bullet, Frank?

FRANK: Well I'll be thinking about that when I'm pissing on your grave.

LILLY: What makes you think he'll call again?

FRANK: Oh he'll call again. He's got... panache.

LILLY: Panache?

FRANK: Yeah, it means "flamboyance."

LILLY: I know what it means.

FRANK: Really? I had to look it up.

FRANK: Am I being paranoid, or is he busting my balls?

FRANK: I've never worked with a female agent before. How many are there?

LILLY: About 125.

FRANK: Hmm, pure window dressing.

LILLY: Excuse me?

FRANK: Window dressing. About 125 out of a little over 2,000. They have you all around so the president can look good to his feminist voters.

LILLY: Do you make an effort to be obnoxious, or is it a gift?

FRANK: It's a gift. Let's face it, half the things we do are window dressing. Take running alongside that limousine. It would take an anti-tank missile to put a dent in that damn thing, but there we are... out for show, trying to make the president look more presidential.

LILLY: So if I'm here to court the feminist vote, what demographics do you represent?

FRANK: Let's see... white, piano-playing heterosexuals over the age of fifty. There ain't a whole lot of us, but we do have a powerful lobby.

LILLY: Well, time flies when you're being annoyed.

FRANK: If she looks back, that means she's interested. Come on now, give me a little look. One little glance back. Give me that smug look and be on your way. (Lilly looks back, Frank smiles and turns to the statue of Lincoln) Well, Abe... damn. Wish I could've been there for ya pal.

FRANK: A good glare can be just as effective as a gun. Know what I mean?

LILLY: Oh, yeah.

FRANK: Know what I mean? (Frank glares at her. Lilly glares back)

LILLY: Oh, you got me.

FRANK: You better stick to the shades, Shweetheart.

LEARY: Frank, you looked so sad on the bus. I mean, I'm sorry... it was self-defense.

FRANK: Tell me about Skellum.

LEARY: You're barking up the wrong tree, Frank. Skellum's worthless.

FRANK: You gonna meet him in LA?

LEARY: (Scoffs) It's late in the game and you're way behind, Frank.

FRANK: I'm way ahead! Look, Leary, I know what you look like. I've seen your eyes.

LEARY: My eyes might look different next time.

FRANK: Not what's behind them won't. You better pray I don't find you, you prick!

LEARY: Pray? What, do you want to kill me, Frank?

FRANK: That's right!

LEARY: The irony is so thick you could choke on it.

FRANK: There's no fu<king irony, Mitch!

LEARY: Think, Frank. Think. The same government that trained me to kill, trained you to protect. Yet, now you want to kill me, while up on that roof I protected you. They're gonna write books about us, Frank.

FRANK: I'm tired of your bullsh*t, Mitch!

LEARY: Don't be a poor sport, Frank. You could have taken me out, but you chose to save your ass. Don't cry about it now. Okay? You know, it does make me wonder about Dallas though. Did you really do all you could have? Or did you make a choice there too? Hmm? Do you really have the guts to take a bullet, Frank?

FRANK: Damn, now I gotta put all that sh*t back on, God damn it.

FRANK:  I saw a picture of your friend lying on the floor with his throat cut.

LEARY: But you didn't see, Frank. What you couldn't possibly know is they sent MY best friend, MY comrade in arms to MY HOME to kill me!

FRANK: Your voice is shaking.

LEARY: I never lied to you, Frank, and I never will!

FRANK: Why is it everyone who ever knew you said that you're a sick son of a b*tch? Your colleagues, your wife--

LEARY: What does your wife say about you, Frank?

FRANK: Oh, well, we're not talking about me.

LEARY: Frank, you of all people... I want you to understand.

FRANK: Why should I understand?

LEARY: Because we both used to think that this country was a very special place.

FRANK: You don't know what I used to think.

LEARY: Oh, but you know about me?! Do you have any idea what I've done for God and country?! Some pretty fu<king horrible things! I don't even remember who I was before they sunk their claws into me!

FRANK: That made you into a real monster, huh?

LEARY: That's right. And now they want to destroy me because we can't have monsters running in the quiet countryside, now can we?

FRANK: What do you see when you're in the dark and the demons come?

LEARY: I see you, Frank. I see you standing over the grave of another dead president.

FRANK: That's not gonna happen. I'm on to you.

LEARY: Fu<k you, Frank. I am willing to trade my life for his. I am smart and I am willing, and that is all it takes. That president is coming home from California in a fu<king box.

FRANK: Where in California?

LEARY: Oh, you want the address? Come on, Frank. I'll keep you in the game but I'm not gonna throw it for you.

FRANK: I want you to give yourself up.

LEARY: So I can live a long and fruitful life?

FRANK: Well, we can work something out.

LEARY: Fu<k you. Frank, don't fu<king lie to me. I have a rendezvous with death. Oh, and so does the President. And so do you, Frank, if you get too close to me.

FRANK: You have a rendezvous with my @ss, motherfu<ker!

LEARY: Frank, Frank, do you know how easily I could kill you, Frank? Do you know how many times I've watched you go in and out of that apartment? You're alive because I have allowed you to live. So you show me some GODDAMN RESPECT!

FRANK: You know something? For years I've been listening to all these idiots on bar stools with all their pet theories on Dallas. How it was the Cubans or the CIA or the white supremacists or the mob or whether there was one weapon or whether it was five. None of that's meant too much to me. But Leary, he questioned whether I had the guts to take that fatal bullet. (Long pause as Frank visualizes the day, remembering every detail... his voice weak and close to cracking.) God, that was a beautiful day. The sun was out. Been raining all morning, the air was— The first shot, sounded like a firecracker. I looked over and I saw him, I could tell he was hit. I don't know why I didn't react. I should have reacted. I should have been running flat out. I just couldn't believe it. If only I reacted I could have taken that shot. That would have been all right with me.

LEARY: So, you had the guts, Frank. You took the bullet.

FRANK: I broke my damn ribs.

LEARY: Sorry, I wasn't aiming at you.

LILLY: Where the hell are the shooters?

SHOOTER 1: West Tower in place. No lights inside.

SHOOTER 2: Sh*t. No shot from the north. We can't see inside.

LEARY: Wearing a bulletproof vest, Frank? That's a bit of a cheat, don't you think? Otherwise, you played a good game.

FRANK: It's no game, Leary. I was doing my job. What are we gonna do now?

LEARY: Do you believe in the nobility of suicide?

FRANK: No. But if you want to blow your Goddamn head off, go ahead. Be my guest.

LEARY: Nicely put, Frank. Except, you see, I don't want to leave this miserable world alone.

LILLY: West Tower, do you have a shot?

SHOOTER 1: Negative. Too dark. Target unclear.

LEARY: It's better to die with a friend. Don't you think, Frank?

FRANK: You're not a friend. You're a damn killer, you sick bastard!

LEARY: Don't talk to me that way! I saved your life! You owe me.

FRANK: I don't owe you sh*t.

LEARY: I was always honest and fair with you.

FRANK: Go ahead and shoot. Go ahead.

CHAVEZ: It's Frank! Quiet! Quiet!

FRANK: Come on, damn it!

LILLY: Frank, are you talking to me?

FRANK: Well, what are you waiting for?

LEARY: What am I waiting for? I'm waiting for you to show me some God damn gratitude. Without me, you'd still just be another sad-eyed, piano-playing drunk. I brought you into this game. I let you keep up with me. I made you a God damn hero today

FRANK: You didn't make me anything.

LEARY: I redeemed your pathetic, sh*tty life.

FRANK: I just did my job. You're the one with the fu<king pathetic life. Go ahead and shoot, damn it.

LILLY: They can't see inside. If they fire, you'll be hit.

LEARY: I want you to thank me first, Frank.

FRANK: Shut up and shoot!

LILLY: All right, Frank.

LEARY: All right, Frank.

LILLY: Shooters, standby to fire. Wait for my command.

LEARY: Sleep well, my friend.

FRANK: Just one thing... aim high.

LEARY: What?

LILLY: Aim high!


LILLY: Fire!

LEARY: You bastard!

(Shooters take their shots and break the remaining glass doors of the elevator. Frank and Leary fight inside, after a few punches, Frank knocks Leary out of the elevator... Leary grabs the edge on the way down. Frank reaches his hand down to help him back up.)

FRANK: Take my hand. If you don't, you'll die.

LEARY: You want to save me, Frank?

FRANK: To be honest and fair with you, no. But it's my job.

MAN ON GROUND: All you people, stand back!

FRANK: (Reaching hand further) Take it!

(Leary purposefully lets go of the edge, choosing to fall to his death.)

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« Reply #38 on: January 17, 2016, 12:35:22 PM »


ADLER: Red, they got T-bones in the fridge.

BRADLEY: Now, I don't think we should eat that. Those were ordered special for the Governor.

ADLER: And tater tots.

BRADLEY: They might not approve of this.

GARNETT: That so? I do like tater tots.

GARNETT: I don't care who you work for, you're here for one reason and one reason only. You hear me?

BOBBY LEE: Anything else, chief?

GARNETT: Yeah, you're in my office. Get out.

SALLY GERBER: You know you did everything you could, don't you?

RED GARNETT: I don't know nothing. Not one damn thing.

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« Reply #39 on: January 17, 2016, 12:40:16 PM »


ROBERT: I was just picking you some flowers. Men still do that, don't they? I'm not out of date, am I, picking flowers for a woman as a sign of appreciation?

FRANCESCA: No, not at all, except those are poisonous. (Robert drops the flowers... Francesca laughs) I'm kidding, I'm sorry. I'm just kidding. I'm so sorry.

ROBERT: Are you sadistic by nature, or what?

FRANCESCA: What's the most exciting place that you've ever been in the whole world, hmm? Unless you're too tired to talk about it.

ROBERT: Hmmm... most exciting, hmm... If you're asking a man if he's tired of talking about himself, then you haven't been out much, have you? I'm sorry... I didn't mean that to make it sound like some dumb statement.

FRANCESCA: No, it was meant... maybe it's a little dull for you, sitting here telling all this to some housewife in the middle of nowhere.

ROBERT: This is your home. This isn't nowhere. And it's not dull.

ROBERT: To ancient evenings and distant music.

ROBERT: I'm a loner, but not a monk.

ROBERT: Oh, and don't fool yourself, Francesca. You're anything but a simple woman.

ROBERT: If you want me to stop, tell me now.

ROBERT: I don't know if I can do this, you know.


ROBERT: Try to cram in a whole lifetime between now and Friday.

ROBERT: I'll only say this once. I've never said it before. This kind of certainty comes but just once in a lifetime.

(Int. day. Francesca's kitchen. Robert at the breakfast table, eating scrambled eggs. Francesca goes and gets toast from the toaster and serves it to Robert.)

FRANCESCA: Did you sleep well?

ROBERT: Mmm-hmm ... Thanks.

FRANCESCA: Good. More coffee?


FRANCESCA: (after a restless pause) Robert, I hope you don't mind my asking, but I feel like I should.


FRANCESCA: Well, these, ah, women friends of yours all over the world ... how does it work? Do you see some of them ... again, or ... forget about others? Or do you write to some of them, now and then? How do you manage it, hmm?

ROBERT: What do you mean?

FRANCESCA: I just need to know the routine, the procedure, so I don't upset your routine, eh ... Do you want some jam?

ROBERT: What are you talking about, routine? There's no routine. Is that what you think this is?

FRANCESCA: Well, what is this?

ROBERT: (After a pause) Well, is it up to me? You're the one who's married, and you have no intention of leaving your husband ...

FRANCESCA: To do what? Go off with someone who needs everyone, but no one in particular? I mean, ah, what would be the point. Will you pass me the butter, please?

ROBERT: I was honest with you.

FRANCESCA: Yes! Absolutely. You have, you have this habit of not needing, and that's very hard to break, but ... in that case, why sleep, you don't need rest, why eat, you don't need food.

(She takes his breakfast away from him and puts the dishes in the sink.)

ROBERT: What are you doing?

FRANCESCA: Gee, I don't know, maybe I'm not cut out to be a world citizen who experiences everything and nothing at the same time.

ROBERT: How do you know what I experience?

FRANCESCA: I know you.


FRANCESCA: And what can this possibly mean to someone who doesn't need meaning, who just goes with the mystery ... and pretends that he's not scared to death.

ROBERT: (angrily) Let's stop this right now.

FRANCESCA: You know, after you leave here I'm going to have to go on sitting here for the rest of my life, and wonder what happened to me ... if anything happened at all. And I'm going to have to wonder if you're going to be sitting in some housewife's kitchen in Romania or somewhere ... and telling her about your world of good friends, and you'll secretly include me in that group.

ROBERT: What do you want me to say?

FRANCESCA: I don't want you to say anything, I don't need you to say anything.

ROBERT: I want you to stop this right now.

FRANCESCA: Fine. More eggs, or shall we just fu<k on the linoleum one last time?

ROBERT: I'm not gonna be ... I'm not gonna apologize for who I am. ...

FRANCESCA: No. Nobody's asking you to ...

ROBERT: ... and I'm not gonna be made to feel I've done something wrong ...

FRANCESCA: (furiously) No, you're not going to be made to feel anything, period ...(she slaps his chest) ... because you have carved out this little part for yourself in the world, where you get to be a voyeur and a hermit and a lover whenever you feel like it ... and the rest of us are supposed to feel incredibly grateful for this brief moment that you've touched us ... Go to hell! It isn't human not to be lonely, and it isn't human not to be afraid! You're a hypocrite and you're a phony!

ROBERT: (very quietly) I don't want to need you ...


ROBERT: Because I can't have you.

FRANCESCA: What difference does that make?

ROBERT: (He moves his lips, but no words come. He turns away from the camera, and walks over to the window.)

FRANCESCA: Oh! Don't you see ... I just, oh Robert, don't you see? I just have to know the truth, huh? ... I just have to know the truth, because if I don't, I'll go crazy. So just tell me, either way. Because I can't act like this is enough because it has to be. And I can't pretend not to feel what I feel because it's over tomorrow.

ROBERT: (All this time he has been facing away from her and the camera hasn't shown his face. Now the camera moves to the left to show a closeup of his left profile.) If I've done anything to make you think that what we have between us is nothing new for me ... is just some routine ... then I do apologize.

FRANCESCA: (the camera moves back to her) What makes it different, Robert?

ROBERT: It's just that I, oh, when I think of why I make pictures ... the only reason I can come up with ... it just seems that I've been making my way here ... it seems right now that all I've ever done in my life has been making my way here to you. And if ... I have to think about leaving here tomorrow ... without you ...

(She has tears on her face. He is facing away from the camera, towards her. They embrace.)

FRANCESCA: (in a whisper) Don't let go ... (Aloud) Oh my God, what are we going to do?

(They continue to embrace as she sobs quietly. Finally, they hear a noise from the driveway as a car pulls in below the kitchen window. It's Neighbor Madge, who has brought the grass widow some Brown Betty. Robert hastens upstairs.)

(After Madge has left, Francesca goes up to the bedroom, where she finds Robert stretched out on the bed, lying on his side. She lies down beside him. He takes her hand; their fingers intertwine.)

ROBERT: (in a whisper) Come with me ... Come away with me ...

FRANCESCA: (does not answer ... )

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