The Aussie Thread

[Elizabeth77]

You all are a great antidote to a very sore left shoulder.  I should have come here first this morning. 

Didn't get to eat anything between midnight in and 5:30 pm on Wednesday. I had to have a port put in so I can get infusions without them trying the impossible to find a vein that will work. I used to have such nice ones, but now they run scared every time a nurse shows up with a needle. They made me show up at the hospital for noon. After sitting around for an hour, they had me sign my life away (or at least guarantee I'd pay my bill). Surgery (outpatient but general anesthetic) was scheduled for 2 pm. They took me in around 1:30 to get ready, then I waited until nearly 3:30 because the surgery before mine took 2 hours instead of one. My surgery only took about half an hour. I was awake and joking with the nurses before I got back to recovery. The funny thing is that when I went in, I was told that the port would be on my right side. When I woke up I knew they'd put it right back in the same place as my old one on the left. Everyone but me forgot that I have a tumor sitting right about where they wanted to put the port. I knew that, but my headache was so bad by that time that I didn't bother to say anything. I'm so glad they figured it out without me.

Thanks again for the morning laugh. It was eggcellent and just what the doctor ordered. 

[The Schofield Kid]

In honour of Australia day this Thursday, I'm going to send Mr. O'Boogie a special jar of Australia's favourite spread. 

Has the jar been opened yet? 

[Matt]

Thanks for asking publicly so that everyone can now see what a wimp I am about trying new foods. 

I played the Hugh Jackman video to make sure I did it right. I bought the cheapest crappiest white bread that is bound to not go stale for at least 3 months. I lightly toasted the bread, and spread with butter, letting it seep into the bread. Then, I took a small amount of Vegemite, and spread it on top.  It was so unappetizing looking, that I was apprehensive about eating it. I managed one bite, and threw it away. I honestly couldn't tell you what it even tasted like. I'm still warming up to the idea, and that was a trial. I'll try again in a couple of days.

[The Schofield Kid]

I was getting a little worried when I hadn't heard anything but at least you tried it. Give it another go in a few days.

My wife is impressed you tried it but said it doesn't get any better.

[TWOMULES]

This is nothing to do with Australia but it is all about bringing a smile to your face, so it's perfect for this thread. This one is especially for Shirts / E77 and Tees / SK. 

Thanks to you two I am back and even more crazy than before!!
Having fun acting out a scene from Honkytonk Man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4IV3b5fFEo

[The Schofield Kid]

This is nothing to do with Australia but it is all about bringing a smile to your face, so it's perfect for this thread. This one is especially for Shirts / E77 and Tees / SK. 

Thanks to you two I am back and even more crazy than before!!
Having fun acting out a scene from Honkytonk Man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4IV3b5fFEo

Great to have you back 2M. I was expecting a toon when I clicked that link. 

[Elizabeth77]

This is nothing to do with Australia but it is all about bringing a smile to your face, so it's perfect for this thread. This one is especially for Shirts / E77 and Tees / SK. 

Thanks to you two I am back and even more crazy than before!!
Having fun acting out a scene from Honkytonk Man.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4IV3b5fFEo

Thanks, 2M! Too bad I didn't see that the day you posted it. I surely could have used the laugh. Then again, maybe not. I had just come home from spending 24 hours in the hospital under observation. I went in on Thursday because I've been short of breath since last Saturday night and things reached a low point and my doctor told my husband to take me to ER. The only good thing about the whole experience was that I was on oxygen all that time, so felt much better and finally got over my headache for the first time in a week! I came home still short of breath, but feeling better.  The doctor called me this afternoon and told me to come in on Wednesday because she's going to change my chemo. She's afraid my lungs are worse than they seemed. You know your doc cares when she calls you on Sunday afternoon from home.

[TWOMULES]

Great to have you back 2M. I was expecting a toon when I clicked that link. 

Thanks SK. The toons will be back at some point especially Tees.

[TWOMULES]

Thanks, 2M! Too bad I didn't see that the day you posted it. I surely could have used the laugh. Then again, maybe not. I had just come home from spending 24 hours in the hospital under observation. I went in on Thursday because I've been short of breath since last Saturday night and things reached a low point and my doctor told my husband to take me to ER. The only good thing about the whole experience was that I was on oxygen all that time, so felt much better and finally got over my headache for the first time in a week! I came home still short of breath, but feeling better.  The doctor called me this afternoon and told me to come in on Wednesday because she's going to change my chemo. She's afraid my lungs are worse than they seemed. You know your doc cares when she calls you on Sunday afternoon from home.

You're welcome E77. 
I am so sorry to read your post.   Thinking of you!

[KC]

And so are we all, Elizabeth77!

[The Schofield Kid]

Laying in bed with a terrible cold

Blowing my nose, feeling so old

Going on holidays, this time next week

Gotta get better, get back on my feet

Laying on the beach or lying by the pool

With used tissues all round me, I won't look so cool

Three more days of work then its a well deserved break

Hopefully by then, this body will no longer ache

Just wrote this ditty as the board is so slow

Hope you enjoyed it, now it's time to go

[KC]

Thank you for your pleasant little verse!
Hope you're feeling better soon, not worse!

[Christopher]

  Great little poems here. Glad your mind isn't too clouded with the cold, SK!

[The Schofield Kid]

I was wondering about this little short story I came up with years ago.

I searched to no avail a few weeks back but found it no problems at 2:30am now.

Ahh the fun we used to have.

Well it was the damnedest thing. Stormy and I are trying to out run that great beast, Stormy screaming like a little girl because he's spilling his beer. Me screaming like a little girl thinking this is it, it's the end. My life flashing before my eyes and I get this brilliant idea of doing the "Serpentine" move. I'm yelling at Stormy, "Serpentine, Serpentine!"

So here we are running through the bush in zig zag motion and this completely disorientates the great beast and he trips over his own feet and comes to a crashing halt. Smacking his head on the ground and knocking itself out cold. Just as we're looking at one another and thinking our troubles are over and we're about to crack open another couple of tinnies, we can hear Shirts screaming in the distance, still being carried away by the giant Tse Tse Fly.

Stormy says, "What do we do, finish our beer or save Shirts?" I reply, "You nut, we have plenty of beer, but there's only one Shirts, Come on."

So we are on the run again and I tell ya, we would have given Usain Bolt a run for his money over that first 100 metres, after that Stormy got a stitch in his stomach and that slowed him down, but nothing was going to stop me from saving the day. I whipped out my trusty Smiley slingshot, and started to fire off rock after rock at this giant fly. Unfortunately my aim was way off and I was spraying rocks everywhere but into the target.

Next thing, I see this aluminium glint in the corner of my eye go flying through the air. Stormy has thrown an unopened can of VB at the Fly, sconing it right between the eyes. The Fly screams out, "I'm hit!" Well I don't know if that's what it said but it certainly gave out a yelp and loosened his claws around Shirts as she tumbled towards the earth.

Quickly I pull out a picnic blanket from my golf bag. Why I have a picnic blanket in my golf bag, I have no idea, because this was no picnic. Anyway Stormy and I have this blanket spread out and we're running to get underneath Shirts before she hits the ground with a terrible thud. We're jumping to the left and then the right trying not to miss Shirts as she gently floated down into the safety of the blanket. It was lucky Shirts wasn't a wet T Shirt otherwise she would have travelled faster through the air.

As we all got up and dusted ourselves off, we all looked around and there wasn't a sign of trouble anywhere. In fact there weren't any signs at all. "How the hell do we get out of here without directions?" Stormy says.  "Easy." I reply. "Just like in the movies, all three of us walk off into the sunset."


                

[TWOMULES]

Laying in bed with a terrible cold

Blowing my nose, feeling so old

Going on holidays, this time next week

Gotta get better, get back on my feet

Laying on the beach or lying by the pool

With used tissues all round me, I won't look so cool

Three more days of work then its a well deserved break

Hopefully by then, this body will no longer ache

Just wrote this ditty as the board is so slow

Hope you enjoyed it, now it's time to go

Cool.  Hope you are feeling a bit better, Tees.

[KC]

A Quest to Save Baby Kangaroos on a Lonely Australian Highway

Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ...

[The Schofield Kid]

The Aussie thread lost one of it's dearest honorary members recently with the passing of Raewyn (AKA "Shirts"). We had a lot of fun years ago and I was thinking today of that little story I posted and found it earlier in the year and posted again. I decided to post it again because I'm sure it'll bring a smile to your faces.

It's Toon Time!

Sorry Shirts!



Can anyone see Shirts? 

Shirts has been ironed out! 

She is not a fast runner like you and Stormy. I'm glad to hear you are ok. How did you escaped from that dinosaur?

Well it was the damnedest thing. Stormy and I are trying to out run that great beast, Stormy screaming like a little girl because he's spilling his beer. Me screaming like a little girl thinking this is it, it's the end. My life flashing before my eyes and I get this brilliant idea of doing the "Serpentine" move. I'm yelling at Stormy, "Serpentine, Serpentine!"

So here we are running through the bush in zig zag motion and this completely disorientates the great beast and he trips over his own feet and comes to a crashing halt. Smacking his head on the ground and knocking itself out cold. Just as we're looking at one another and thinking our troubles are over and we're about to crack open another couple of tinnies, we can hear Shirts screaming in the distance, still being carried away by the giant Tse Tse Fly.

Stormy says, "What do we do, finish our beer or save Shirts?" I reply, "You nut, we have plenty of beer, but there's only one Shirts, Come on."

So we are on the run again and I tell ya, we would have given Usain Bolt a run for his money over that first 100 metres, after that Stormy got a stitch in his stomach and that slowed him down, but nothing was going to stop me from saving the day. I whipped out my trusty Smiley slingshot, and started to fire off rock after rock at this giant fly. Unfortunately my aim was way off and I was spraying rocks everywhere but into the target.

Next thing, I see this aluminium glint in the corner of my eye go flying through the air. Stormy has thrown an unopened can of VB at the Fly, sconing it right between the eyes. The Fly screams out, "I'm hit!" Well I don't know if that's what it said but it certainly gave out a yelp and loosened his claws around Shirts as she tumbled towards the earth.

Quickly I pull out a picnic blanket from my golf bag. Why I have a picnic blanket in my golf bag, I have no idea, because this was no picnic. Anyway Stormy and I have this blanket spread out and we're running to get underneath Shirts before she hits the ground with a terrible thud. We're jumping to the left and then the right trying not to miss Shirts as she gently floated down into the safety of the blanket. It was lucky Shirts wasn't a wet T Shirt otherwise she would have travelled faster through the air.

As we all got up and dusted ourselves off, we all looked around and there wasn't a sign of trouble anywhere. In fact there weren't any signs at all. "How the hell do we get out of here without directions?" Stormy says.  "Easy." I reply. "Just like in the movies, all three of us walk off into the sunset."


                

We'll miss you Shirts.

RIP

[The Schofield Kid]

Happy 50th birthday to our President, Stormy. I really wish he'd come back.

I'll have a beer for him and hope he is well.

[Christopher]

Wow, this thread is almost seven years old! There is a lot of great fun stuff here.

[TWOMULES]

The Aussie thread lost one of it's dearest honorary members recently with the passing of Raewyn (AKA "Shirts"). We had a lot of fun years ago and I was thinking today of that little story I posted and found it earlier in the year and posted again. I decided to post it again because I'm sure it'll bring a smile to your faces.

We'll miss you Shirts.

RIP

A beautiful tribute to a wonderful member. Thank you The Schofield Kid.

RIP  Raewyn (AKA "Shirts").