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TWOMULES
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« Reply #5148 on: February 28, 2017, 04:19:12 PM » |
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Thanks, 2M! Too bad I didn't see that the day you posted it. I surely could have used the laugh. Then again, maybe not. I had just come home from spending 24 hours in the hospital under observation. I went in on Thursday because I've been short of breath since last Saturday night and things reached a low point and my doctor told my husband to take me to ER. The only good thing about the whole experience was that I was on oxygen all that time, so felt much better and finally got over my headache for the first time in a week! I came home still short of breath, but feeling better. The doctor called me this afternoon and told me to come in on Wednesday because she's going to change my chemo. She's afraid my lungs are worse than they seemed. You know your doc cares when she calls you on Sunday afternoon from home.
You're welcome E77. I am so sorry to read your post.  Thinking of you!
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The Schofield Kid
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« Reply #5153 on: March 07, 2017, 08:32:16 AM » |
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I was wondering about this little short story I came up with years ago. I searched to no avail a few weeks back but found it no problems at 2:30am now. Ahh the fun we used to have.  Well it was the damnedest thing. Stormy and I are trying to out run that great beast, Stormy screaming like a little girl because he's spilling his beer. Me screaming like a little girl thinking this is it, it's the end. My life flashing before my eyes and I get this brilliant idea of doing the "Serpentine" move. I'm yelling at Stormy, "Serpentine, Serpentine!"
So here we are running through the bush in zig zag motion and this completely disorientates the great beast and he trips over his own feet and comes to a crashing halt. Smacking his head on the ground and knocking itself out cold. Just as we're looking at one another and thinking our troubles are over and we're about to crack open another couple of tinnies, we can hear Shirts screaming in the distance, still being carried away by the giant Tse Tse Fly.
Stormy says, "What do we do, finish our beer or save Shirts?" I reply, "You nut, we have plenty of beer, but there's only one Shirts, Come on."
So we are on the run again and I tell ya, we would have given Usain Bolt a run for his money over that first 100 metres, after that Stormy got a stitch in his stomach and that slowed him down, but nothing was going to stop me from saving the day. I whipped out my trusty Smiley slingshot, and started to fire off rock after rock at this giant fly. Unfortunately my aim was way off and I was spraying rocks everywhere but into the target.
Next thing, I see this aluminium glint in the corner of my eye go flying through the air. Stormy has thrown an unopened can of VB at the Fly, sconing it right between the eyes. The Fly screams out, "I'm hit!" Well I don't know if that's what it said but it certainly gave out a yelp and loosened his claws around Shirts as she tumbled towards the earth.
Quickly I pull out a picnic blanket from my golf bag. Why I have a picnic blanket in my golf bag, I have no idea, because this was no picnic. Anyway Stormy and I have this blanket spread out and we're running to get underneath Shirts before she hits the ground with a terrible thud. We're jumping to the left and then the right trying not to miss Shirts as she gently floated down into the safety of the blanket. It was lucky Shirts wasn't a wet T Shirt otherwise she would have travelled faster through the air.
As we all got up and dusted ourselves off, we all looked around and there wasn't a sign of trouble anywhere. In fact there weren't any signs at all. "How the hell do we get out of here without directions?" Stormy says. "Easy." I reply. "Just like in the movies, all three of us walk off into the sunset."

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"Winners are simply willing to do what losers won't."
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KC
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« Reply #5155 on: June 27, 2017, 08:18:28 PM » |
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The Schofield Kid
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« Reply #5156 on: August 31, 2017, 10:26:54 PM » |
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The Aussie thread lost one of it's dearest honorary members recently with the passing of Raewyn (AKA "Shirts"). We had a lot of fun years ago and I was thinking today of that little story I posted and found it earlier in the year and posted again. I decided to post it again because I'm sure it'll bring a smile to your faces. It's Toon Time! 
Sorry Shirts! 

Can anyone see Shirts? 
Shirts has been ironed out! 
She is not a fast runner like you and Stormy. I'm glad to hear you are ok. How did you escaped from that dinosaur? 

Well it was the damnedest thing. Stormy and I are trying to out run that great beast, Stormy screaming like a little girl because he's spilling his beer. Me screaming like a little girl thinking this is it, it's the end. My life flashing before my eyes and I get this brilliant idea of doing the "Serpentine" move. I'm yelling at Stormy, "Serpentine, Serpentine!"
So here we are running through the bush in zig zag motion and this completely disorientates the great beast and he trips over his own feet and comes to a crashing halt. Smacking his head on the ground and knocking itself out cold. Just as we're looking at one another and thinking our troubles are over and we're about to crack open another couple of tinnies, we can hear Shirts screaming in the distance, still being carried away by the giant Tse Tse Fly.
Stormy says, "What do we do, finish our beer or save Shirts?" I reply, "You nut, we have plenty of beer, but there's only one Shirts, Come on."
So we are on the run again and I tell ya, we would have given Usain Bolt a run for his money over that first 100 metres, after that Stormy got a stitch in his stomach and that slowed him down, but nothing was going to stop me from saving the day. I whipped out my trusty Smiley slingshot, and started to fire off rock after rock at this giant fly. Unfortunately my aim was way off and I was spraying rocks everywhere but into the target.
Next thing, I see this aluminium glint in the corner of my eye go flying through the air. Stormy has thrown an unopened can of VB at the Fly, sconing it right between the eyes. The Fly screams out, "I'm hit!" Well I don't know if that's what it said but it certainly gave out a yelp and loosened his claws around Shirts as she tumbled towards the earth.
Quickly I pull out a picnic blanket from my golf bag. Why I have a picnic blanket in my golf bag, I have no idea, because this was no picnic. Anyway Stormy and I have this blanket spread out and we're running to get underneath Shirts before she hits the ground with a terrible thud. We're jumping to the left and then the right trying not to miss Shirts as she gently floated down into the safety of the blanket. It was lucky Shirts wasn't a wet T Shirt otherwise she would have travelled faster through the air.
As we all got up and dusted ourselves off, we all looked around and there wasn't a sign of trouble anywhere. In fact there weren't any signs at all. "How the hell do we get out of here without directions?" Stormy says. "Easy." I reply. "Just like in the movies, all three of us walk off into the sunset."

We'll miss you Shirts. RIP 
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« Last Edit: August 31, 2017, 10:28:03 PM by The Schofield Kid »
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"Winners are simply willing to do what losers won't."
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